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Those of you with medical elements embedded into your twisted tales will perhaps be interested in the following information. For all others, well, break out the gloves and masks and gown-up, because things are about to get ugly.

Did you know:

  • At least five microbes are resistant to nearly all available antibiotics.
  • 1 in 6 Americans—48 million people—get sick from contaminated food each year.
  • The Centers for Disease Control’s AMD program (Advanced Molecular Detection) uses next generation sequencing and bioinformatics, and experts in epidemiology, lab sciences, and bioinformatics to provide new insight into microbes. AMD provides sequencing machines that can read the DNA or RNA code of a microbe as well as supercomputers with the capability, via advanced software, to intelligently detect patterns.
  • CDC’s Advanced Molecular Detection (AMD) program is designed to protect Americans from microbial threats. AMD utilizes microbiology and bioinformatics to assist scientists and health professionals in their quest to find and stop infectious disease outbreaks.
  • During the period of time between 2007-2012, construction occupations, both supervisory and line-level workers, accounted for the highest number heroin and prescription opioid–related overdose deaths. The occupation groups with the highest number of drug-related deaths caused by the use of methadone, natural and semisynthetic opioids, and synthetic opioids other than methadone, were:

  1. construction,
  2. extraction (e.g., mining, oil and gas extraction)
  3. health care practitioners.
  • The three most common methods of committing murder in the U.S., per year, are:

Clearly, firearms, by far, lead the other means of killing.

Zoonotic Diseases

  • Yes, studies indicate that people who have strong bonds with their pets often enjoy increased fitness and lower stress levels. And, the level of happiness achieved by pet owners is high. However, since pets can carry germs known as zoonotic diseases (diseases caused by harmful viruses, bacterial, parasites, and fungi), pet owners should make certain their beloved animals are healthy.
  • Zoonotic diseases cause anything from mild to serious illness and even death.
  • According to the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) “Zoonotic diseases are very common, both in the United States and around the world. Scientists estimate that more than 6 out of every 10 known infectious diseases in people are spread from animals, and 3 out of every 4 new or emerging infectious diseases in people are spread from animals. Every year, tens of thousands of Americans will get sick from harmful germs spread between animals and people. Because of this, CDC works 24/7 to protect people from zoonotic diseases.”
  • To help fend off zoonotic disease, avoid contact with the saliva, blood, urine, mucous, feces, or other body fluids of an infected animal.

  • Have your pet examined by a veterinarian, regularly.
  • Use caution and wear protective clothing (gloves, face masks, etc.), when in contact with areas where animals are or were at some point. The same is true when handling objects or touching surfaces that have been contaminated with germs—aquarium water, hamster habitats and play areas, dog and cat bedding and litter boxes, chicken coops, plants, and even soil, leftover pet food, and water dishes.

Please wash your hands thoroughly after petting or otherwise contacting animals, including your own pets. You never know what could be hiding in that soft fur and on those adorable faces.

*Source ~ Centers for Disease Control and Prevention

You’ve all read the headlines, the super-real but often “Fake News” stories posted to Facebook and other social media. After all, if it’s posted on Facebook it’s got to be true, right? For example, here are a few headlines and stories I found this this morning …

  1. Court orders princess to stop pea-ing her bed after prince files formal complaint.
  2. The family of the Ugly Duckling successfully sued the estate of Hans Christian Anderson for the years of body-shaming endured by the abused duck.

    Ugly duckling.

  3. In a startling disclosure, The Beast announced today that he, too, identifies as a Beauty.
  4. The bodies of a local mean woman and her three ugly, lumpy, and clumsy young daughters were discovered late last night in their home. Each had a burning cinder lodged in their throat. Authorities have released a grainy surveillance photo of what appears to be a large pumpkin fleeing the scene. A police spokesperson believes the alleged pumpkin was used as a getaway vehicle. Missing from the home were two glass slippers and a fancy ball gown. There are no suspects at this time.
  5. Police have arrested 23-year-old Goldilocks (no last name). According to anonymous unnamed sources, the woman is charged with various crimes after breaking into the Bear family home on Pudding Street. A photo posted to Facebook clearly shows the sex offender in a bed with one of the bears. It is believed she used porridge in varying degrees of warmth to gain the trust of the bears, one of whom was a baby. Additional charges are pending, including destruction of property (a stool).
  6. The defendants, teens Hansel and Gretel, were sentenced to death for the brutal murder of Witch Hazel, the kind old woman who made homes for the needy from bits of leftover Halloween candy.
  7. The Three Little Pigs named to host the all-new HGTV show, Blowing Down Tiny Houses. Their first guest is a Wolf from a nearby village.
  8. Breaking News! Alice charged with trespassing in Wonderland. She’s currently in hiding, possibly behind the looking glass.
  9. The dish ran away with the spoon. The spoon’s parents called the police and the dish was charged with abduction. He was recently sentenced to hard time in Old Mother’s Cupboard.
  10. Chicken Little Now Identifies as Turkey Lurkey. Henny Penny Sues for Divorce.
  11. Three Blind Mice Pass California Driver’s License Exam.
  12. Hickory Dickory “Doc” Arrested for Over-Prescribing Oxycontin to Actors and Musicians.
  13. Georgie Porgy Kissed the Girls and Spent Six Months in Sex Rehab with Anthony Weiner.
  14. The House that Jack Built Seized by Courts After Cops Find Large Marijuana Grow Operation Inside.
  15. Humpty Dumpty Sat on a Wall and Was Arrested for peeping through the widow’s window .
  16. Jack and Jill Went Up a Hill. Jogger Finds Jill’s Body Two Weeks Later.
  17. Little Bo Beep Jailed as Leader of Sheep Tail Smuggling Ring.
  18. Little Jack Horner Arrested for Murder of Miss Muffett After Thumbprint Discovered on Muffet’s Tuffett.
  19. Tommy Tittle Mouse Arrested for Trespassing in Other Men’s Ditches. Will Serve 60 Days in Old Woman’s Shoe.
  20. Man in the Moon to Welcome Americans Who Left Earth After 2016 Election.
  21. Teacher Arrested for Having Sex with Mary’s Little Lamb. 22-Year-Old Educator Did Not Reply to Reporter’s Messages.
  22. 2,200 Pounds of Cocaine Discovered on Michael’s Boat as He Attempted to Row it Ashore on the Florida Keys.
  23. Italian Restaurants Ordered to Install Shields on Buffet Tables After Man Sneezes Meatball Onto Floor and Out the Door.
  24. Police Pursuit Takes Officers Over the River and Through the Woods. Ends at Grandma’s House Where They Discover Illegal Edible Marijuana Operation—Pot-Infused Puddings and Pumpkin Pies.
  25. Mary Mary Quite Contrary Burns Mouth on McMother Cupboard’s Hot Pease Porridge. Sues Fast Food Giant for 100 Million.
  26. Man Pops Weasel. Sentenced to 5 Years For Public Sex Display.

    Weasel popping

  27. Same Sex Couple Sues Baker for Refusing to Pat Their Cakes.
  28. Rub-a-Dub-Dub Three Men in a Tub Becomes Legal in North Carolina.
  29. Simon No Longer to be Called Simple Says University President. More Safe Spaces Needed. The Word “Pie” To Be Banned from Campus Conversations.
  30. Skipping Deemed Offensive on Many College Campuses. Lou Organizes Massive Protest.
  31. To Market, To Market, To Buy a Fat Size-Challegend Pig.
  32. Wee Willie Winkie Charged as Pedophile for Peeping Into Windows of Children While Wearing Nightgown.
  33. Yankee Doodle Charged with Fraud After Attempting to Pass a Feather as Macaroni.

What could children learn from Nursery Rhymes? Click here to find out.