Cooking with cops

Okay, take off those gun belts and grab a spatula. Today you’ll be Cooking With Cops! And the first recipe is…

Crime Scene Yams

The Evidence (Ingredients):

4 large yams

6 tsp butter (yes, only 6, Paula Deen)

juice of 1/2 lime (or a couple of good squirts of lime juice from a plastic grocery store lime)

juice of 1/2 orange (or 1/4 cup of orange juice, the breakfast kind)

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp ground ginger (No Mary Ann this time)

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 cup honey (do not substitute this ingredient!)

1 cup dark brown sugar (light brown sugar is okay if that’s what you have, but you really should upgrade to the real stuff)

The Procedure

This recipe takes a little time, but it’s well worth it—mouth-watering worth it!

1. Preheat oven to 375 (NO MICROWAVING. IT IS NOT THE SAME)

2. Place 4 large yams on a cookie sheet, side-by-side like corpses at a mob murder scene—and bake for 45 minutes. The yams should be still slightly firm to the touch—not quite done, but almost. You know, like when a body is two hours into rigor.

3. Allow the yams to cool enough to peel.

4. While the yams are cooling, combine the butter, brown sugar, honey, orange and lime juice, cinnamon, ginger, and other ingredients into a pot. Heat until the ingredients are well-mixed. Should look like a really thin syrup, or blood on a sidewalk during a New England spring shower.

5. Yep, you guessed it (you might make detective sooner than you thought!), now peel and cut the yams into 3/4″ discs. They should still be firm in the centers (not quite done).

6. Layer the yam slices in a 9×13 baking dish and then pour the honey mixture over the yams. (Some people would like to sprinkle a few crushed pecans over the top at this point. Personally, I think they’re sick, but if that’s your thing then help yourself).

7. Cover the dish with foil and bake for 20 minutes. Doesn’t have to be body-bag-tight, just snug.

8. Remove foil and bake for an additional 20 minutes. The dish should be bubbling nicely at this point.

9. Remove from oven and cool until it’s less than 10,000 degrees before serving.

10. Enjoy!

Seriously, this dish is superb!

*Do you have a recipe you’d like to share? If so, please contact me at lofland32@msn.com. Please type Cooking With Cops in the subject line of the message.

  1. Gerrie Ferris Finger
    Gerrie Ferris Finger says:

    I would love to have that cookie cutter. Just the thing on Christmas Eve when things get hectic with the screaming and all.

    You dish sounds sticky enough for my heroine Moriah Dru to eat with her beloved Glock 33, after which licking clean before cramming into her ankle holster.

    Thanks, Lee.

  2. Sally Carpenter
    Sally Carpenter says:

    When making this recipe, should one wear gloves as not to leave fingerprints or traces of DNA?

  3. Jordan
    Jordan says:

    Is that a gun cookie cutter? I must have one… does it come with a badge? I could use one of those too!

    Seriously, this recipe made me laugh, and drool. I’ll leave the nuts off too, but the rest sounds delish!

    And I thought I recognized the gun shot victim. I think I was in the room when you took that picture. 🙂

  4. Lee Lofland
    Lee Lofland says:

    Fran – The woman in the 3rd photo is of one of the “gunshot victims” at the Writers’ Police Academy. I caught her “enjoying” her breakfast between shootings.

  5. Fran Stewart
    Fran Stewart says:

    Love the recipe, and I get the first two pictures, but where on earth did that third picture come from — the one of the woman whose face looks like hamburger?

  6. Lee Lofland
    Lee Lofland says:

    Hey, you know the policy, Dave…no gratuities! Seriously, I wonder how many half-price meals we ate during our careers? And, how many meals were half-eaten because we had to run out to a shooting or traffic accident? I guess it all works out in the end.

    Nike – The dish is really good, I think, even without the ginger. I’ve cooked it both ways.

  7. D. Swords
    D. Swords says:

    Hi Lee,

    I can read a recipe and, I must admit, it means very little to me. I’m no cook, but I’m real handy with leftovers and a microwave.

    I prefer to jump in and start at step #10.

    By the way, I assume this meal is half price? 🙂

  8. Nike Chillemi
    Nike Chillemi says:

    I’ll cook with anyone, even cops. I know, I have no judgement and quite low standards. (winking)

    Recipe sounds GREAT! I don’t like ginger and would take that out. I’d keep it to 6 TBSp butter, Paula Dean notwithstanding.