Cooking With Cops: Light ‘Em Up Jello

light 'em up jello

Remember way back in the 70s when everyone’s grandmother made her signature Jello dish?

Yeah, you know what I’m talking about, that odd wiggly-jiggly bowl of red stuff with pieces of fruit cocktail living in a state of suspended animation.

In addition were those molded lumps of colored “not-quite-liquid” but “softer-than-solid” desserts capped with once-frozen whipped toppings.

Then, as quickly as the squirmy dishes hit the home culinary scene, they disappeared, returning to a state of Jello limbo, waiting to once again claim the spots on the menus now occupied by frozen, pre-cooked pies and cakes.

Well, here’s a Jello recipe that’s held its own in my world. Yep, this dish is still ranked pretty high in my hood, and I think you’ll like it too, especially if you’re fond of strawberry cheesecake.

Light ‘Em Up Jello

The evidence (ingredients)

(2) packages of strawberry flavored Jello

(2) cups of water

(1) cup of mini-marshmallows softened in hot water

(1) small can of crushed pineapple

(1) package of cream cheese

(1/2) pt. whipped cream (the squirt kind works and tastes much better than the frozen stuff for this dish. But either will do nicely).

Okay, now it’s time to bag and tag all the evidence and deliver it to the lab for assembly.

 

The Procedure

anthrax poison. the silent killer

Dissolve Jello into (2) cups of hot water (Follow instructions on the Jello box. Cold water will not work!). Stir in softened marshmallows. Pour into 9×13 dish, or dish size of your choosing. Refrigerate until mixture has just barely begun to set. Remove from refrigerator and stir in pineapple. Use whisk to blend in cream cheese (it takes a bit of patience to get the cream cheese to a fairly creamy texture—you’ll never get out all the small lumps—but it is well worth the effort!). Whisk in the whipped cream. Some people enjoy a small sprinkling of chopped walnuts into the mixture at this point. Personally, I think they’re crazy, but if that’s your thing then more power to you. But I say don’t mess with perfection and step away from the nuts—both the people who like them and the walnuts!

Refrigerate until set firm.

Scoop into preferred portion sizes and top individual servings with a generous squirt of whipped cream.

Enjoy, and I know you will!

 

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Cooking With Cops: Sweet Potato Biscuits

Okay, folks, the weekend’s here so it’s time to step outside the crime scene tape, put away the fingerprint powders and brushes, and relax. And what better way to kick back than to whip up something tasty in the kitchen? So here’s one of my favorites—sweet potato biscuits—all the way from the good people of Bridgeville, Delaware. As Sheriff Andy Taylor would say, “They’re some kinda’ good!”

Sweet Potato Biscuits

Ingredients

– 2 cups warm, mashed, boiled sweet potatoes

– 1/2 cup melted butter

– 2 tsp. baking powder

– 3 cups sifted flour

– 3/4 cup sugar

– 1 tsp. salt

The Process

Pre-heat oven to 425.

20161119_105407

Sift flour and baking powder. Mix warm sweet potatoes with sugar, salt, and butter. Add flour to potato mixture and mix thoroughly.

Roll on slightly-floured bread board until approximately 1/2 inch thick.

Cut with biscuit cutter (or inverted juice glass, water glass, etc.) and place on baking sheet.

Bake at 425 degrees for 15-20 minutes, or until nicely browned and done.

Brush melted butter across the top of each biscuit.

Makes approximately 2 1/2 to 3 dozen mouth-watering biscuits.

Enjoy!

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Cooking With Cops: Shrimp Lo Mein and GLUG

Cooking with cops shrimp

Emily Farnham says this lo mein recipe is so simple that even our resident chef can cook it. But, as you can see, he hasn’t quite mastered noodles yet. So maybe you guys should try this one on your own. Don’t worry, though, if your attempt produces slop, today’s second recipe’ll help you forget all about your mistakes.

Shrimp Lo Mein

Steam lo mein noodles till tender.

Stir fry 1/2 cup onions, 1/2 cup green peppers, 1/2 cup mushrooms, and shrimp (4 lg. shrimp per person) together until tender

Feel free to use chopped bok choy or cabbage as well.

Stir in 2 tbsp fish broth and 2 tbsp soy sauce

Add lo mein noodles and stir til all is blended –  do not over cook veg.

This makes 4 healthy servings.

 

…and for Emily’s alcohol loving peeps, her friend Gunnilla sends this:

Glug

1 large bottle burgundy

1 c aquvite

2 large navel oranges

4 cloves

1/4 c raisins

1/4 c walnuts

1 large bottle port

1 large bottle rose

1 cup sugar

Peel oranges and place peels and cloves in cheese cloth bag.

Over medium heat add all liquids and sugar except aquvite.

Place cheesecloth bag in until warmed and flavors are infused.

Add aquvite and light match.

Serve Glug over raisins and nuts.

Do not perform any activities that require brain cells.

Blow at flame serve and enjoy.

*Today’s recipe comes to us from the kitchen of Southland fan Emily Farnham. You can visit Emily on Facebook. You can visit Southland Tuesday nights on TNT at 10pm. You can enjoy Emily’s Lo Mein and Glug anytime.

*Do you have a recipe you’d like to share with thousands of daily Graveyard Shift readers? If so, please contact us at lofland32@msn.com.

*     *     *

Registration for the 2012 Writers’ Police Academy is well underway.

Featuring Lee Child as keynote speaker.

Special guest speaker – Renowned forensic anthropologist Dr. Elizabeth Murray.

All new workshops!

Firearms, K-9’s, arson investigation, fingerprinting, interview and interrogation, ride-a-longs with sheriff’s deputies and patrol officers, polygraph, firefighters, and much, much more!

Special surprise (you won’t believe this once-in-a-lifetime…oops, almost spilled the beans!!)

www.writerspoliceacademy.com

And…

How do you like The Graveyard Shift’s new look?

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Cooking With Cops: Karen Davidson’s Texas Caviar Salsa

Cooking with cops shrimp

 

Sure, you’ve just finished working the graveyard shift, and you can barely hold your eyes open, but today’s the day the in-laws are coming over for your kid’s birthday party. No sleep for you. Not today.

So, march right on in there and get rid of that uniform, the gun belt, and those muddy shoes. What’d you do last night, anyway?

Oh, chased a serial killer through a swamp. Well, that’s nice. Hurry along, now. Everyone will be here soon, and they’ll all be asking for the salsa.

And wipe your feet before you step on the good carpet.

~ Between you and me, he’ll be asleep in two minutes. That’s why I’ve already pulled out his recipe card file. So do me a favor and grab a bowl and the ingredients—they’re all right there on the counter—and start mixing. Everyone will be here soon. I’ll get the chicken ready for the grill.

Oh, here’s a spare apron. You wouldn’t want to get anything on that dress… J.C. Penny?

Oh, Ann Taylor. I’ve been meaning to stop by there. But I’ve been a Sears and Roebuck person since I was this high.

What?

Yes, this is Karen’s recipe.

Yep, Karen Davisdon.

Uh huh, that salsa. He got it from her a couple of years ago at the VFW picnic.

I know. It’s sooo good.

Okay, here’s the recipe box. It’s filed under “S”.

Yes, it is really easy to make.

Listen, he’s snoring already.

I hope he took off his shoes before crawling onto the bed. That’s my good comforter, the one Aunt Geraldine made for me.

Honestly, that man…

TEXAS CAVIAR SALSA

1 can white shoe-peg corn

15 oz can black-eyed peas, drained and rinsed in cold water

4-5 small cans chopped black olives, drained (about 12 oz)

1 can (about 15 oz) garbonza beans

10 oz bottle chunky salsa, medium flavor

-or-

10 oz can Rotel tomatoes with chilies

8 oz bottle Kraft zesty Italian dressing

1 bunch green onions, chopped

2 Tbsp chopped cilantro

1 cup shelled edamame, optional (this wasn’t in the original recipe, but I love edamame)

Mix all ingredients together and chill overnight before serving with tortilla chips.

NOTE: I have always used the salsa instead of the Rotel tomatoes, so I don’t know how the recipe does with the Rotel.

ALTERNATE USE:  Boil chicken breasts in some herbs and then shred the chicken. Pour the salsa over it – it’s almost like a thick stew that way.

Enjoy!

 

*     *     *

*Today’s recipe comes to us from the kitchen of Southland fan Karen Davidson. Karen heads up the Southland chat, featuring many of the show’s stars who stop by to hang out with their fans. You can visit Karen on her Facebook page here.

Yes, that’s Southland star Michael Cudlitz snuggling up to Karen in the photo above.

 

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Cooking With Cops: Emily’s Hangover Soup

Cooking with cops

The shift is over and we’ve swapped the uniforms and gun belts for aprons and spatulas. That’s right, folks, it’s time for Cooking With Cops, and we’re pleased to have Emily Farnham join us again this week. Last week’s baked apples were to die for…

And I’m sure this week’s recipe, Emily’s Hangover Soup, will be just as electrifying. So let’s dive right in.

As always, we must first collect the evidence.

HANGOVER SOUP

1/2 LB POLISH SAUSAGE THINLY SLICED

2 SLICES BACON

1 MED ONION CHOPPED

1 MED GREEN BELL PEPPER CHOPPED

4 C BEEF BROTH

16 OZ RINSED SAUERKRAUT

1 C SLICED MUSHROOMS

2 STALKS CELERY CHOPPED

2 LARGE TOMATOES CHOPPED

2 TSP PAPRIKA

1 TSP CARAWAY SEED

1/2 C SOUR CREAM

2 TBSP FLOUR

 The Procedure

First, lean over the bowl and begin to pray, promising to never, ever drink again…

Oops, wrong procedure!

Here you go:

IN DUTCH OVEN COOK SAUSAGE AND BACON TIL BROWN AND BACON IS CRISP.

REMOVE SAUSAGE AND BACON AND DRAIN.

STIR ONIONS AND PEPPER IN DRIPPINGS AND COOK TIL TENDER. DRAIN OFF FAT .

STIR IN ALL INGREDIENTS EXCEPT FLOUR AND SOUR CREAM AND SIMMER 45 MINUTES.

MIX FLOUR AND SOUR CREAM TOGETHER UNTIL SMOOTH.

GRADUALLY ADD HOT LIQUID TO MIXTURE TIL SOUR CREAM IS HOT AND NOT CLUMPY. THEN ADD TO SOUP AND COOK UNTIL THICKENED AND BUBBLY. APPROX 1 MINUTE.

ENJOY, ENJOY, ENJOY!

*Today’s recipe comes to us from the kitchen of Southland fan Emily Farnham. You can visit Emily on Facebook. You can visit Southland Tuesday nights on TNT at 10pm. You can enjoy Emily’s Hangover Soup anytime.

*Do you have a recipe you’d like to share with thousands of daily Graveyard Shift readers? If so, please contact us at lofland32@msn.com.

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Cooking With Cops: Emily’s Favorite Baked Apples

Cop cooking

Emily’s Favorite Baked Apples

servings 4

The Evidence

4 large red delicious apples cored

1 c simple syrup

1c butter

2 1/2 cups sugar

16 oz caramel candy. fudges. Hershey kisses. or, marshmallows—whichever you prefer.

(4) 9 inch pie crusts

1/2c water

 The Procedure

(“baked apple”)

preheat oven 375 degrees.

mix simple syrup, 1/2c melter butter, and water together until smooth.

layout parchment paper

lay crusts on paper

place cored apples in center of pie crust.

place candy inside.

use pastry brush to seal crust around apple with syrup mixture.

neatly cut off excess crust and use to make leaves and place on top.

brush outside with syrup mixture and bake til shiny and golden brown.

serve hot

~ everyone loves these!

Well, maybe not everyone….

*Today’s recipe comes to us from the kitchen of Southland fan Emily Farnham. You can visit Emily on Facebook. You can visit Southland Tuesday nights on TNT at 10pm. You can enjoy Emily’s baked apples anytime.

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Cooking With Cops: A Chocolate Cherry Cake To Die For

Cooking with cops

Okay, put down the sniper rifle and grab a spatula. Today you’ll be Cooking With Cops!

And this recipe is a real killer…

GEORGE WASHINGTON’S CHOCOLATE CHERRY CAKE

The Evidence (ingredients)

Part One

2 c. flour

3/4 c. sugar

3/4 c. vegetable oil

2 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

1 tsp. baking soda (do not use baking powder)

1 tsp. cinnamon

Pinch of salt

Part Two

1 (21 oz.) cherry pie filling

1 (6 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate bits

1 c. walnuts

– Okay, now it’s time to bag and tag all the evidence and deliver it to the lab for testing.

 The Procedure

Mix part one ingredients together. Mixture will be thick.

Add part two, but stir easy (do not beat with electric mixer).

(Part two ingredients)

1 (21 oz.) cherry pie filling

1 (6 oz.) semi-sweet chocolate bits

1 c. walnuts

Pour into greased and floured tube pan. Heat oven to 350 degrees and bake 1 hour.

Ovens may vary, use a toothpick, if clean not wet, cake is done.

Cool cake before removing from pan.

No icing is needed.

Enjoy!

Today’s recipe comes to us from SZ, a longtime Graveyard Shift reader and contributor.

Suzanne (AKA SZ, Su Su) was born and raised in Orange County, Ca, now pleasantly living in San Francisco twelve years. When not writing service at dealerships, she also enjoys writing on the computer, while walking in the city, on napkins and coasters or in my head.

SZ had this to say about her recipe. “This con”cop”tion is a favorite and it’s here just in crime for Presidents Day. They make fun cop cakes as well, and they’re moist, not cruminal. Where the the corny words are coming from is beyond my apprehension. You may have to call the grammar police!

*Do you have a recipe that you’d like to share? If so, please contact me at lofland32@msn.com

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Cooking With Cops: Crime Scene Yams

Cooking with cops

Okay, take off those gun belts and grab a spatula. Today you’ll be Cooking With Cops! And the first recipe is…

Crime Scene Yams

The Evidence (Ingredients):

4 large yams

6 tsp butter (yes, only 6, Paula Deen)

juice of 1/2 lime (or a couple of good squirts of lime juice from a plastic grocery store lime)

juice of 1/2 orange (or 1/4 cup of orange juice, the breakfast kind)

1 tsp vanilla

1/2 tsp ground ginger (No Mary Ann this time)

1/2 tsp ground cinnamon

1/2 cup honey (do not substitute this ingredient!)

1 cup dark brown sugar (light brown sugar is okay if that’s what you have, but you really should upgrade to the real stuff)

The Procedure

This recipe takes a little time, but it’s well worth it—mouth-watering worth it!

1. Preheat oven to 375 (NO MICROWAVING. IT IS NOT THE SAME)

2. Place 4 large yams on a cookie sheet, side-by-side like corpses at a mob murder scene—and bake for 45 minutes. The yams should be still slightly firm to the touch—not quite done, but almost. You know, like when a body is two hours into rigor.

3. Allow the yams to cool enough to peel.

4. While the yams are cooling, combine the butter, brown sugar, honey, orange and lime juice, cinnamon, ginger, and other ingredients into a pot. Heat until the ingredients are well-mixed. Should look like a really thin syrup, or blood on a sidewalk during a New England spring shower.

5. Yep, you guessed it (you might make detective sooner than you thought!), now peel and cut the yams into 3/4″ discs. They should still be firm in the centers (not quite done).

6. Layer the yam slices in a 9×13 baking dish and then pour the honey mixture over the yams. (Some people would like to sprinkle a few crushed pecans over the top at this point. Personally, I think they’re sick, but if that’s your thing then help yourself).

7. Cover the dish with foil and bake for 20 minutes. Doesn’t have to be body-bag-tight, just snug.

8. Remove foil and bake for an additional 20 minutes. The dish should be bubbling nicely at this point.

9. Remove from oven and cool until it’s less than 10,000 degrees before serving.

10. Enjoy!

Seriously, this dish is superb!

*Do you have a recipe you’d like to share? If so, please contact me at lofland32@msn.com. Please type Cooking With Cops in the subject line of the message.

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