“The average police street cop in Los Angeles makes $75,000 a year. It’s not enough.”

Ben is standing in a place that’s all too familiar to veteran cops all across the country. He’s on top of the world—at the very tip of the peak—and he’s balancing on the big toe of one foot. Seasoned officers, officers who’ve been on the job for many years, have been there and done that. They’ve all gone through the “I-just-finished-my-training-and-I-know-more-than-every-other-cop-in-the-world stage.

Sherman thinks he’s the hotshot cop who can save the world from everything and anything. And he’s got Badge Bunnies hopping around him like he’s a human carrot in uniform. But he’s got a lot to learn…a lot. Like discovering what it actually means to be a police officer, and how to truly become a partner to the guy who’s standing beside you while facing a dozen angry, armed gang members. Your partner, the guy who has your back through both the good and the bad.

Nope, being a cop isn’t all running fast, looking cool in uniform, and dodging bullets. First and foremost, of course, it’s about protecting the public, putting their lives before yours. And it’s about trusting your partner and knowing your partner trusts you. Without earning that confidence, well, you may as well start scanning Craigslist for job openings, because you’ll never be a real cop. Never.

And Ben absolutely must realize that the way to earn the trust of the public is not by engaging in a menage-a-jump-out-the-second-story-window-trois with Ima Killu’s wife and her friend. But Ben’s in that “stage.” He’ll learn. They all do. But it takes time, a few hard knocks, and plenty of hurt feelings, and maybe even a couple of official reprimands. And, he’ll probably be on the receiving end of a nasty bite from a rabid bunny before it’s all over.

Officer Sherman has reached the first critical crossroads in what could be a long career. Will he choose the right direction? Well, that’s up to the writers, and so far they’ve done a fantastic job of taking us on the journey. And Ben is allowing us to see that trip through his eyes. A really great job by both the actor and the folks who put this on paper.

Lydia’s on a personal journey of her own. A journey that’s experienced by many female officers. A journey that male officers will probably never fully understand. She’s torn between a career she absolutely loves and the little one inside that she isn’t sure she should even want, at this point. She knows that once she tells the department, they’ll surely put her on some wacky desk job, like filing papers in evidence, or answering phones at the department’s “I’m Calling Because I’m Stupid” hotline. And you know what…wearing a uniform after working in plainclothes for any period of time almost seems like a demotion, even if it’s not. And, those things are hot and uncomfortable!

Lydia demonstrates just how uncomfortable a uniform can be when we see her slide out from behind the wheel for the first time back in uniform.

Sgt. Adams unhooks her seatbelt and leans to her left, getting out of the patrol car. Did you happen to notice the grimace when she made the move to step out? Now that brought back memories. Do you see the space between her belt line and the bottom of her vest? Well, picture a wide and thick gun belt attached to her regular belt, at the top of her pants. Then, imagine as you lean to the side that space between the belt and the vest narrowing until it finally closes…with the soft flesh of your side pinched tightly between! Yes, that’s the cause of the wince. It hurts. Yeah, I know, being pregnant didn’t help any.

Lydia’s next move was to grab the top of the vest that had pushed upward toward her throat. She pulled it out and away from her body, an effort to relieve the irritating claustrophobic choking sensation. Now this is something that you get used to (the vest choke) but officers still do “the grab and pull” all the time, all day long. First, to stop the choke, and second, to allow the oven-like heat that’s trapped between the vest and your skin to escape and be replaced by a bit of fresh, cooler air.

- Cooper and Tang are stuck with a camera crew riding along, capturing their every move and word. That’s a scenario that cops are generally not fond of. They don’t trust the media because the media sometimes paints officers in a bad light, especially when any kind of force is used to subdue suspects.

I have many friends who work in various aspects of the media and it’s always an eye-opener for them when we invite them to attend police training so they can get a feel for why cops do what they do. The absolute biggest opinion-changing eye-opener is when they go through FATS training (firearms training simulator) where they’re faced with actual shoot/don’t shoot scenarios that happen in real time. Their reactions are most often of disbelief, horror that things escalate so quickly, and they’d have been killed if they’d hesitated to use deadly force, which many do…the first time.

Anyway, Cooper and Tang are called to a bakery where there’s a dispute between the owner and a customer. Coop and Tang separate the two (good technique) and then make the customer leave. In the meantime, they work with the man’s wife and the owner to reach a solution. Of course, all this takes place with the man’s young child in the thick of it all. And that, I’m afraid, is often the norm. Children suffer because daddy or mommy can’t control themselves or their actions.

- Sammy attempts to talk to a man whose son was killed in retaliation because he helped the police (Sammy) identify a criminal suspect. The man punches Sammy, blaming him for his son’s death, a death Sammy also feels responsible for causing. Sammy doesn’t fight back out of guilt.

- Ben and Sammy respond to an officer needs assistance call. The officers who needed the help were an oddly-matched pair—a male officer who was rather large and extremely out of shape, and a female officer who, as Sammy described, was, “Five foot and 99lbs soaking wet.” He resented having to come to aid because of their physical limitations.

Now, male or female. each officer should be able to hold their own and not have to call for assistance on calls that shouldn’t require assistance. I feel Sammy’s pain. When you’re trying to arrest a combative suspect and you spend most of your energy protecting someone who could barely lift a 5lb bag of sugar, well, that person is a liability on the street. They could easily get hurt and, their partners will surely be hurt trying to protect them.

I once worked on a shift with a person who was 4’11, weighed 91 lbs, had to sit on a pillow to see over a patrol car steering wheel, and couldn’t pull the trigger on a standard, department-issued weapon because his/her fingers were too short. Now, I ask you, would you feel confident wading into a bar fight among motorcycle gang members with that person as your backup? I’ve done it, and it wasn’t a good feeling. Sammy was right. Some people shouldn’t be cops.

- Ben and Sammy roll up on a group of guys who immediately set their beer bottles and cans on the ground. That’s exactly how it happens in real life. Good scene. And Ben’s searching technique was spot on—have the suspect clasp his hands behind his head, officer grabs the fingers of both hands and slightly leans the guy backward, off balance. Then he starts the pat down with using his free hand, Patting every (I mean EVERY) area of the body, searching for weapons and other contraband.

- When Ben and Sammy first started their shift Ben began a search of their patrol car, looking under the seats, etc. This is done every day, between every shift, by both oncoming officers and those leaving for the day. The purpose of the vehicle search is to locate any contraband that may have been stashed there by suspects who’d been transported in the back seat area/cage. The search is supposed to be conducted after each transport as well. Then, oncoming officers know that anything they find belonged to the last suspect who rode in the car.

Ben thinks Sammy planted/conveniently found a crack pipe in their patrol so he could frame the guy he believed killed a witness to an earlier crime. He accuses Sammy of the illegal and immoral act only to learn later that the pipe was already inside their car, left there from the previous shift. The officers had neglected to search at the end of their watch. Ben attempts to apologize but a lot of damage has been done. He didn’t trust his partner. He didn’t back him…stand by him. Didn’t believe in him. Unlike Sammy who stood by Ben when he punched the girl. Remember?

It will be interesting to see how the tension between the two partners works out. If it works out. That sort of incident makes it extremely difficult to trust your life to someone you’re not sure will be there for you when you need him.

- Cooper and Tang are behind a car. The driver’s nervous and, like many drivers across the country, he starts doing all sorts of dumb things. Black and White Fever is the cop’s name for what happens to drivers who suddenly realize a police car is behind them. They start swerving, braking too often, stopping in odd places, run red lights, and more. So Cooper nailed this one on the head, stating that drivers forget how to drive when a cop car shows up in their rear-view mirror.

_ Lydia earns a spot in the ER when she’s struck in the belly. But the physician assures her that the baby is fine. Lydia, though, is not. And a lone tear rolled down her cheek to let us know that she’s hurting from far deeper pain than the punch in the gut.

Now, regarding Lydia. It was great to see her in uniform and in action last night. Did you notice how the show seemed to fly by from opening credits until the screen went dark at the end? That’s because there were none of those “driving and thinking” scenes to slow us down. No walking around a crime scene talking about feeling sick and sad. Nope. None of that. And I certainly hope the writers remain on this track, because action, realistic action, is what makes this show stand out from all the other cop shows.

Southland is all about the day-to-day action that patrol officers face during their shifts. And that’s the stuff that drives the show’s fan crazy with excitement and enthusiasm.

And talking about realistic action…

How about Tang and knife-wielding woman? Great scene, and she and Cooper were right. They should have shot the woman when she first lunged at Dewey with the knife. But deep inside you never want to do that. You just don’t. So Tang tackled her, hoping to end the situation in the best possible way. It wasn’t her fault the lady was injured.

Then comes Cooper’s fight-for-his life fight scene. Now that was how to insert tension into a TV show. It was real. Very real. If I could’ve crawled into my set to help Coop I would have. And that brings up my final point for the week. These actors take their roles so seriously that their characters come across as real people. And I, for one, am glad that these guys are out there to protect us, even if it’s only for one night each week.

Take a good look at the photo above. Notice Castle’s WTF expression? Someone must’ve snapped this shot at the precise moment he first saw the script for this two-parter nonsense called Linchpin.

As always, I know the reviews will be mixed. Die-hard shippers will be swooning and loving every bit of eye contact and remotely romantic conversations between Beckett and Castle, while others, especially newer viewers, will be wondering how this show remains at the top of the ratings. For that matter, some are actually wondering if Castle should see another season. I know, I know. But I’m simply repeating what I’m reading and hearing, from a whole lot of people.

Wait, I think I hear those people outside. Hold on, let me take a quick look down the street…

See… And every single person out there used to love this show!

Anyway, for me, this two-part episode was the worst episode to date. Sure, the acting was good, but the story???? You know, good acting and great characters can only hold up bad stories and weak writing for so long.

Personally, I think the folks at Castle are taking us for granted. They know they’ve captured a large core group of fans and no longer seem to care enough about them to feed them a decent meal. And they’re not even so much as dangling a bone in front of potential new viewers.

Anyway, I was pretty disappointed with this episode. In fact, for the first time, I wanted to turn the dial. Had it not been for having to watch in order to complete this review and recap, I would have done just that. I’m sure Cupcake Wars, a documentary about earthworms, or an old episode of Leave It To Beaver was on somewhere. Anything would have been better than sitting through this one.

I certainly hope they deliver next week.

Melanie, it’s all yours.

Melanie Atkins

Last week, I wasn’t too pleased with Pandora, the first segment of this two part “event”, and ever since, I’ve been worried if Linchpin would bother me as much. The sneak peeks made me think not, but who knows for sure until the show airs? Sometimes, the sneak peeks show the best parts of the show, and the rest of it doesn’t live up to the hype. This time, however… it did, to a degree. I thought as a whole the show was much better. Andrew Marlowe, the show’s creator wrote this one, and it held together much better for me, even if the concept was a bit farfetched.

If you saw Pandora, you know it ended with a cliffhanger: Kate and Rick inside her car as it is pushed off the dock into the Hudson River. Their struggle to free themselves had me on the edge of my seat, even though I’d seen the previews and knew they survived. We didn’t actually see them escape, but flashes of light inside the car told us Rick had found the gun and shot through Kate’s seatbelt and the window, allowing them to get out. Implausible? Certainly. But with all the insane stuff that went on last week, this was mild… and I bought it.

Sophia, the CIA agent in charge of the case and Rick’s former muse, throws them off the case once they’re on dry land and back at CIA headquarters, and they head back to the precinct.

Kate is still extremely jealous of Sophia, and we soon learn that Rick did indeed sleep with the CIA agent way back when. Kate doesn’t take that information well. And to top it off, Alexis hears part of Kate and Rick’s conversation while interning in the morgue. Oops! Later, of course, she confronts her father. I loved one of her lines: “And I thought the dead bodies were going to be the grossest part.”

Sophia sneaks into Rick’s office and surprises him. Despite what she said to Kate and Rick after they were fished out of the river, she wants them on the case… and she gives him information. She also finds Rick’s murder board, complete with info on Kate’s mom’s case and Kate’s shooting, and she asks Rick, “Does she know?” (referring to Kate, of course). He doesn’t answer. Instead, he turns off the display. She smiles and says, “You always did like to play with dynamite. Just be careful it doesn’t blow up in your face.” Yeah, right. That secret is explosive, and one day…

Yet I digress. Back to the story. Sophia gives Rick Blakeny’s bank account numbers, a key piece of evidence the man killed at the pier last week was after when he was shot in front of Kate and Rick right before they went into the water. (Deep breath).

Kate’s green eyed monster rears its ugly head again, but she still jumps at the chance to dive back into the investigation. They find Blakeny’s hidey-hole and learn he has predicted WWIII thanks to a linchpin — a ten-year-old girl, the daughter of a Chinese finance minister — that will ruin our country’s economy and send us spiraling into chaos. (I know, right?)

Gage, the man the CIA targeted last week, kidnaps Kate and Rick at Blakeny’s place, then Sophia and her goons grab them all. Holy cluster of stars, Batman. It’s wild, but still more cohesive than last week… I swear!

Then Gage is found dead in an interrogation room — meaning a mole has to be in Sophia’s CIA unit. They narrow it down to Martin Danberg, her right hand guy, but he escapes.

Rick soon comes up with a way to find out who the linchpin — the little girl — is, and Sophia says, “You’re a genius!” and kisses his cheek. The pained look on Kate’s face spells heartbreak, but she doesn’t say a word. Rick wanders off to get coffee while they wait on the computer to work, and Kate and Sophia have a heart to heart.

“You like him,” Kate says… a statement, not a question.

Sophia looks at her. “I did. Once.”

Then Kate asks what happened… and Sophia says she and Rick had a flash fire of passion after a slow build up — with no real foundation for a relationship — then nothing. She wishes they’d never slept together, that they’d just kept that longing… then maybe what they had wouldn’t have burned itself out. Kate looks thoughtful, but doesn’t say anything.

Not long after Rick returns, they learn who the girl is and locate her in New York, with her father at a trade conference, and they go after her. Only, Sophia turns on them and holds them hostage.

Danberg isn’t the mole; she is. And she’s Russian. Hmm…

Just as she prepares to shoot Rick and Kate, she gives Rick a hint about the father he never knew — was he a CIA agent? — by saying, “Your father would be very proud.” But before she can elaborate, another agent takes her out. Rick is too stunned by her revelation to move. Kate and the CIA agent save the girl… the country, and the world. No WWIII, at least not today.

I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted!

The CIA apparently pulled Kate’s car out of the river, and the agent who brings her the keys tells her it’s “better than new”. Yeah, right. Not if it’s been in the Hudson. Maybe they replaced it, but otherwise, I sure as heck wouldn’t want to drive it. Would you?

Rick asks Kate, “Do you think she (Sophia) was telling the truth about my father? I mean, that would explain why he completely disappeared.”

“I think that Sophia told a lot of lies,” Kate replies. “Must be tough finding out she’s a traitor after you based Clara Strike on her and all.”

“Well, Clara started off as Sophia, but she ended up being more like you. Smart, fierce, kind. I think that’s why I was drawn to you… as a muse.”

Aw… finally a little Caskett goodness. I’m not as turned off this week as I was last Monday, but I still wanted more in the romance department. The show as a whole was much more compelling, however, and it held my attention. Last week I couldn’t stop yawning.

Next week’s episode, Once Upon a Crime, looks like a funny one. I love those.

Lee Lofland

Where do I begin? Let’s see… Well, you already know how I feel about the episode as a whole, so I think I’ll just go straight for the throat.

I’ve started a sort of running joke on my Facebook page about Beckett getting kidnapped as often as she does. And not only does she get abducted at the drop of a hat, she also loses her gun to a crook at least as often as kids take their Flintstone vitamins—once a day. This scenario has become a part of the Castle-boilerplate-script, and it’s not only getting old, it’s absolutely ridiculous. How many cops would still be on the job if they allowed themselves to be kidnapped once a week? Furthermore, how many times will viewers watch Beckett get kidnapped before saying enough is enough? At least we know why the mayor allows Castle to tag along with Beckett…to protect her hind parts from impending doom and certain destruction. She’s a walking disaster, which, by the way, is a far cry from the Beckett we saw in earlier seasons. And I miss that Beckett. Please bring her back and get rid of the horror-movie-Beckett we have now. You know, the teenage girl who flees from the cabin in the woods, falls down, and is ALWAYS caught by the bad guy serial killer.

The whole car floating aimlessly to the center of the earth (exactly how deep is the Hudson at the spot beside the docks, anyway—two or three hundred miles?), and then have Castle shoot Beckett’s PREDICTABLY stuck seatbelt…was just plain stupid. What part did he shoot, anyway? Certainly not the buckle that was against her flesh. Who knows and who cares at this point. And what about that bright muzzle flash? Underwater? I know a road flare will burn underwater, but it’s nowhere near as bright as the flashes we saw last night.

And then Beckett drowns (lungs fill with water and she’s unconscious) so Castle shoots out the car window, hauls her limp, lifeless body from the depths of the deepest, darkest ocean to the surface, where the two of them calmly and merrily enjoy a nice cup of coffee and happily discuss the details of the case. No hospital visit. No doctor. No paleness from the lack of oxygen to her body and brain. Nothing but smiles, perfect makeup, and a cup of coffee. I’m sure everyone who’s just emptied the equivalent of a bathtub full of water from their lungs would immediately go for dumping more liquid into their body. That’d certainly be my first choice.

Of course, as always, Beckett storms into a private apartment without a search warrant. In real life, people, cops must obtain either a search warrant or permission from the home/business owner/renter to enter a dwelling or business. The exception to that rule is when someone’s life or evidence of a crime is immediate danger. A landlord may not give permission to search the home of his/her tenant. Neither of these apply to many of Beckett’s searches.

Sure, an officer could go in without the proper paperwork, but all evidence seized would be deemed inadmissible in court. And certainly, since this search involved saving the world from total destruction, an officer would probably want to use whatever evidence she found. Wouldn’t it be a shame to have to let the “Destroyer Of The World” go free because Beckett couldn’t use “the bomb” she found because she entered the guy’s apartment illegally. Oops…

- The CIA guy (possibly the end-of-the-world guy) grabs a hostage in front of a dozen armed cops and agents. He’s clearly standing where the officers could easily hit him with approximately 7,000 rounds of hollowpoint ammunition, but no one fired a shot and he gets away. What do you think would have happened in real life? CIA and cops on one hand. Guy who’s going to end the world on other hand. And all that stands in the way is one civilian. Hmm…

- Okay, how many of you did not know that Sophia was going to be the “bad guy?” Again, we called it early on, during the first episode.  Another yawner for me.

- Wasn’t that an impressive search of the terrain that helped locate the little girl/Linchpin? But, for this show that far out stuff sort of worked. So I didn’t mind it so much.

- The Chinese official and family arrived and entered the building unescorted by bodyguards. This guy was a world financial leader. A VID (very important dude). The fictional NYPD must’ve missed the A&E special about the Secret Service that aired not too long ago. Foreign officials are often assigned a team of Secret Service agents who’s duty is to protect the VID’s against men who openly take their time and point guns at little girls in public buildings.

- I loved how CIA officials allow Castle to tag along during a mission that could mean the “end of the earth as we know it.” No vest, no gun, and no believability.

- I think this is the point where Beckett and Castle are abducted once again.

- Why did Sophia stand there talking to Castle and Beckett for such a long period of time? You’d think someone who was trying to end the world would have just popped off a couple of quick rounds and moved on. But noooo…..

Okay, there wasn’t a lot of good in this episode, and not wanting to be all negative I’ll say this…Alexis was nice and cute and sweet. And, thankfully, we didn’t hear much from Lanie. I say they fast forward and make Alexis the M.E. Why not? Everything else seems to be coming from LaLa Land.

Sorry, Shippers. I did not like this episode at all. I’m still a fan, but I’m very, very concerned. In fact, I’m losing interest. Bored. Watching with one eye open and one eye closed. Please, Castle writers…please bring back the good old days!

It’s official. I’m getting old, and I’m positive this is happening because everything I know and love is rapidly disappearing right before my eyes. The aging process alone is distressing enough as it is. But add to it receiving that first letter from AARP, new-fangled gadgets such as the “I” everything’s (I-Phone, I-Pad, I-Pod), weird music that really doesn’t resemble music, and the “F” word spewing from the mouths of nearly every kid in the 4th grade, well, it’s beyond distressing. Downright anxiety-inducing, if you ask me.

Yes, I know aging is a natural process, and with it comes (or goes) a lot of things we’ve held dear for our entire lives—hair, a trim waistline, memory, eyesight, strong backs, good knees, finger dexterity, speedy reaction time, soft skin, and well, you get the idea.

And getting older shoves all the good things aside, replacing them with odd little ugly things, such as:

- that once wavy mane of 80′s rock-band hair morphs into a peculiar-shaped hairless orb

- eyeglasses with super-thick lenses replace $200 super-cool sunglasses

- sports cars replaced by minivans

- comfortable tennis shoes replace dress shoes, even when going out

- going out is a trip to the grocery store, or a visit to the proctologist

- a quiet evening at home means turning down the volume on your hearing aids, not an intimate dinner party of six

- rolling a joint means to massage the pain from your knees, fingers, and feet

- listening to music no longer means turning on the radio to hear people sing beautiful melodies. Instead, we now turn on the radio to hear some guy using bad grammar to rapidly recite nonsensical, profanity-laced rhymes to the beat of a computerized, artificial bass guitar and drums (at least by listening to this crap on the radio we’re spared seeing the constant crotch-grabbing and dance-partner-humping).

- singers don’t sing. Singers don’t even have to be able to sing. Instead, a “gadget” harnesses their out-of-tune lyrics and mechanically brings the screeching tones into pitch. Anyone can become a singer these days. I won’t name names, but anyone, anyone, anyone ~ subliminal message here…Taylor Swift, Black Eyes Peas ~ can have a top-selling record.

- awards presented to actors and musicians used to mean something. Not anymore. Nowadays there’s at least one for everybody, sometimes more. And yes, even the fast-talking rhyming folks get them for “singing.”

- even the people who can’t sing but use the auto-tuners to dupe us into thinking they can sing win awards for “singing.”

What ever happened to folks who had real singing talent? Folks like Frank, Bing, Dean, Robert Plant, Aretha, Dionne, Barbara, and Paul McCartney?

Speaking of Paul McCartney, did you see the Twitter boards light up in response to Sir Paul’s performance on the recent “award” show? Most of the trending tweets were something like, “Who the hell is this Paul McCartney dude?” “Who’s the old white guy?”

Yes, it’s definitely a sign that times are changing when people don’t have a clue about Paul McCartney and his contribution to music and to the world as a musician.

I know. These are all signs that I’m getting old.

But the Geritol really hit the spoon when I learned of the plans to phase out the old standard police car, Ford’s Crown Victoria.

I drove a Chevrolet Caprice for several years. Mine was midnight blue with dark-tinted windows in the rear. The tint was installed so people couldn’t see who, if anyone, was in the backseat. That way I could drive an informant through a neighborhood so he could point out all the hotspots without anyone knowing what I was up to. And, the CI’s identity could remain anonymous. Plus, the darkened windows added a bit of mystery to me and the car. Kept the bad guys guessing.

My old “Blue Ghost” reached it’s top speed of 80mph, or so, when we were rolling downhill with my foot squashing the accelerator to the floor (all my successful pursuits terminated on the downhill side of the city). It was a tough old car and I loved it, passing up a couple of new rides in favor of keeping the car with a seat that was perfectly molded to the shape of my own downhill side of town.

I also drove a Crown Vic for a while, and that was one tough, beefy car. I used it on a few pit maneuvers and to chase down murder suspects, bank robbers, and escaped convicts. It was a great car. Actually, I drove a few Crown Vic’s during my career. A couple of them were take-home cars that also served as my office. In fact, I’d used the car to ferry my daughter to sporting events, driven it in several parades, and took it to various school events as show and tell for kids.

The Vic and The Ghost often served as safe sanctuaries for victims of abuse, rape, attempted murder, and assault, where they’d wait with the doors locked while I dealt with their attacker(s). The car’s heater warmed the tiny legs and arms of abused children whose homes had no heat when I found them inside, alone and shivering. I kept treats in the console for the younger folks who had nothing. The trunk held my riot gear, a shotgun, and other tools of the trade. But it was also home to several stuffed animals I ‘d bought for the kids who simply needed to hug something after mommy or daddy had used them as punching bags.

Driving slowly through neighborhoods with my windows down was just something I did. I’d pass by kids and old folks who all knew my first name. They’d wave and I’d wave back, and I’d often stop to speak or to get out and sit on someone’s front porch to talk about whatever was on their mind. Children knew The Vic and The Ghost, and they knew it meant someone was there to keep them safe, or to toss them a football.

Now, sadly, the Vic’s are gone. Replaced by big powerful cars with huge thunderous engines. Cars that can easily reach 150mph and beyond.

I see them zoom by on the highways, thinking back to the days when I wore a badge and drove the highways traveling to and from calls. And I can’t help wondering if there’s a teddy bear in the trunk of that passing Charger or Impala.

I certainly hope that’s a part of police work that never grows old.

Emily’s Favorite Baked Apples

servings 4

The Evidence

4 large red delicious apples cored

1 c simple syrup

1c butter

2 1/2 cups sugar

16 oz caramel candy. fudges. Hershey kisses. or, marshmallows—whichever you prefer.

(4) 9 inch pie crusts

1/2c water

 The Procedure

(“baked apple”)

preheat oven 375 degrees.

mix simple syrup, 1/2c melter butter, and water together until smooth.

layout parchment paper

lay crusts on paper

place cored apples in center of pie crust.

place candy inside.

use pastry brush to seal crust around apple with syrup mixture.

neatly cut off excess crust and use to make leaves and place on top.

brush outside with syrup mixture and bake til shiny and golden brown.

serve hot

~ everyone loves these!

Well, maybe not everyone….

*Today’s recipe comes to us from the kitchen of Southland fan Emily Farnham. You can visit Emily on Facebook. You can visit Southland Tuesday nights on TNT at 10pm. You can enjoy Emily’s baked apples anytime.

The Graveyard Shift extends our condolences to the family of this brave officer.

Detective David White, 35

Clay County Florida Sheriff’s Office

February 16, 2012 – Detective David White was shot and killed during a raid of a meth lab. Another detective was wounded during the exchange of gunfire.

Detective White is survived by his wife and two children.

Most people know it’s dangerous to smoke inside the house or leave candles unattended because it could start a fire. But not all fire hazards are so predictable. The lesser-known fire hazards are just as concerning, if not more so, than the most common ones because you don’t see them coming until it’s too late. Here are the top 10 unexpected fire hazards in the home.

1. Laptops

   If you have a laptop, then you know that thing can get pretty hot in no time. A hot laptop that’s left on a bed, couch, blanket, or another soft surface can prevent proper airflow in and out of the cooling vents, and it may produce enough heat to ignite and start a fire. Protect your laptop from overheating and starting a fire by leaving it on a desk or laptop stand.

2. Dryer lint

   Dryer lint may not seem like a legitimate danger, but this little ball of fluff can be quite the fire hazard if it’s not removed before or after drying clothes. Excessive heat and lint buildup are a recipe for disaster. It’s important to clean the dryer vent and exhaust duct regularly, as well as the interior of the dryer chassis to clear any lint clogs.

3. Stacks of newspaper

   That stack of newspapers you’re collecting in the corner to recycle or eventually read is more of a fire hazard than you may think. If newspapers get too close to a heat source, they can catch on fire. If you’re going to keep newspapers in your house, keep the stacks short and store them in a cool, dry place.

4. Electric blankets and heating pads

   Electric blankets and heating pads might not seem very concerning, but these heating tools can be extremely hazardous if misused. Heating pads and electric blankets have the ability to get very hot and anytime you have excessive heat buildup, a fire can start. To prevent these tools from starting a fire, keep your heating pad and electric blanket on the lowest setting and do not use for more than the recommended time.

5. Old appliances

   An old appliance is more than a nuisance; it’s a disaster waiting to happen. Old appliances can have shoddy wiring and deteriorated insulation that could start a fire with just one spark. It’s crucial that you check your appliances regularly and inspect electrical cords and connections to make sure they are in good condition.

6. Barbecue charcoal

   After barbecuing, many people just throw their bag of charcoal into a storage closet and shut the door without any concern for what could happen. If the coal is damp, it could ignite itself and start a serious fire. To prevent such a devastating disaster, place the charcoal in a metal pail or garbage can and secure it tightly with a lid. Store the container in a cool, dry place that has enough space to let heat escape should the coals self-ignite.

7. Oil soaked rags

   The next time you work on your car or clean and lubricate your bicycle, be sure to hang your oil soaked rags outside or in a well ventilated room so that they can dry properly and the heat fully escapes before washing. Oily rags that are piled up can ignite themselves and cause a serious fire.

8. Matches and lighters

   How many times have you collected match books and carelessly thrown them into a drawer? Chances are you’ve done this once or twice before. Matches can easily ignite if they rub against a rough surface, and lighters can accidentally ignite if the wheel moves in just the right way. If your matches are stored with paper or other flammable materials, it could be disastrous. When keeping matches and lighters in your house, make sure they are out of a child’s reach and they are stored in a safe, dry place away from anything that might accidentally ignite them.

9. Clutter in the closet

   Stacking your clothes to the top of the closet might not seem like a big deal, but if your wool sweater or cotton T-shirt touches an exposed light bulb, it could lead to a major fire. Nearly 12% of all house fires start in a closet because homeowners ignore the closet light fixtures and stack combustible materials close to the glowing, hot bulb. You can prevent a disaster from happening inside your closet by installing the proper enclosed light fixtures and keeping your belongings far away from the light bulb.

10. Dust

    Dust bunnies aren’t just an annoyance — they’re also a danger to your safety. Dust can be a fire hazard if it collects near floor heaters, electronics, and sockets. If sparks fly, dust piles can ignite and cause a fire. Regular dusting and vacuuming with a hose can significantly reduce the amount of dust that lingers near your electrical outlets and appliances. Pay special attention to the back of entertainment centers and any crevices that might collect dust.

*Today’s article brought to you by www.rentersinsurance.com

After twenty years on the job, Officer John Cooper has been wondering how his fellow officers will remember him. But right now the only thing he can think about is hanging on.

Cooper, like all people and things on this earth, will eventually reach the end of the line. A hand is on the switch, slowly turning the dial toward dim. His experience is vast, and his knowledge, priceless. Will anyone care after he pulls the pin and retires? Doubtful.

You see, Cooper is realizing that he’s officially one of the “old guys,” a hush-hush title given to officers who’ve been around a long time. The guys who’ve seen and done it all. And it’s a title that even follows a retired cop to his grave.

The old guys have paid their dues, earned their battle scars, and they’ve loved every single minute of their careers, even the outlandish practical joking that occurs among the ranks.

Their years have flown by, and to them it seems like just yesterday when it was they who were telling war stories about “the old guys.” Stories that grew more exciting over the years with each telling. Now it is they, the new generation of old guys, who are subject of the stories.

Cooper is witnessing the changes all around him. The new guys have taken over the role of pranksters, as we saw between Ben and Sammy. Coop’s reached the point where he understands the reasons behind the crimes, instead of merely reacting to them. And we saw this as he talked to the kid standing on the ledge of a highrise, a young man ready to end his life because he couldn’t handle the difficulties and uphill battle of being gay in a largely straight world.

The “old guy” has come to terms with much of his life as a gay police officer, and he summed it all up by saying this to the jumper, “I’ve got a lot of problems, kid. Being gay isn’t one of them.”

Cudlitz plays his role quite well. He delivers the feel of many years of experience as a cop, and the others on the show actually seem to draw from it, just as younger officers do in real life. Now that’s good acting.

Okay, on to the practical joking between Ben and Sammy. First, I must say that sort of thing goes on behind the scenes in every police department. And yes, to the extent we saw in this episode.

Well, unfortunately for you, it’s time for my weekly “I remember when” story. So, like it or not, have a seat in the time machine. I promise, this won’t take long…

Many police officers I worked with thought of themselves as the ultimate practical jokers.

After all, what could be funnier than squirting a thick cloud of pepper spray under a locked restroom door while your partner is in there with his uniform pants around his ankles?

Taking, and hiding, a fellow officer’s patrol car after he left his keys in the ignition while in foot-pursuit of a fleeing suspect, was another favorite trick. Watching him frantically search for the missing vehicle, while wondering how to explain the loss to his supervisor, was hilarious to the pranksters. There were times, however, when the last laugh was on the comedians. Like…

One particular night, a couple of the guys borrowed a department-store mannequin and quietly smuggled it upstairs inside the county jail. There they dressed the mannequin as an inmate, in orange, jail-issue coveralls. The plan was for two of the deputies to make their way down the steps while pretending to fight with the dummy. The scuffle was to end at the office of a graveyard-shift dispatcher who thought of herself as the queen of all jokesters, whose most famous prank was baking homemade Christmas cookies laced with a very strong laxative (being on patrol in the far reaches of the county when “the urge” strikes is no joke!).

The mannequin idea was supposed to scare her into sending out an officer-needs-assistance call; we all expected a good laugh when she realized the joke was finally on her.

So the officers began their descent down the stairwell, yelling and screaming and “fighting” with their prisoner as they neared the dispatcher’s station. When they rounded the corner and were in full view of the poor woman, the “fight” became more intense. The dispatcher stood to see what was causing the disturbance and, as they expected, she panicked—big time. Just as she reached for the microphone to call for assistance, the head fell off the mannequin. The wide-eyed dispatcher watched in horror as it tumbled down the steps and rolled to a stop at her feet.

Thinking the deputies had decapitated the poor inmate, she promptly fainted and struck her head on the concrete floor. An ambulance had to be called, an accident report had to be completed, and the sheriff had to be notified—at 3:00 a.m.

The dispatcher was fine, but when the sheriff arrived, real heads rolled.

So there you have it, this stuff is how cops keep their sanity in check after dealing with the horrors of society. And Sammy and Ben sure gave us a great peek into that side of the job—stealing Sammy’s towel, the “I’m pregnant” girlfriend, birds in the car, and the “Squeeze my hand.” Classics!

Even the humor while dealing with an out-of-control subject, a less-than-tall man who strongly resisted arrest, was spot on. “Where are you taking me?” Ben, “We’re off to see the Wizard.” Politically correct? Of course not. Realistic? Yep.

By the way, Ben’s change in attitude is absolutely normal. Rookies tend to be on their best behavior when riding with their training officers, as was the case with Ben and Cooper. However, once the training is over and their jobs are more secure (a rookie-in-training can be dismissed at any time), rookies tend to spread their wings a bit, letting their true personalities emerge. That’s what we’re seeing with Ben. Also, rookies are sort of like kids, they tend to mimic the people they’re around. And Ben is definitely becoming and extension of Sammy.

And let’s not forget Ben’s comment, “Badge Bunnies are predators. I don’t go after them, they come after me.” Now where have you heard that before? Yep, right here on this blog. I tried to tell you guys…

Lydia and Ruben land a murder case involving a father who killed his own son and then attempted to cover his tracks. The crime scene clues all pointed to dear old dad who’d done a poor job of concealing the evidence and his guilt. Actually, this looked like a case of the suspect wanting to be caught. Happens all the time.

I worry, though, that Lydia’s pregnancy is going to slow the story. This show’s own legacy is its intense wall-to-wall, nonstop action. Lately, though, Lydia’s “I’m sick and I’m not admitting why” scenes are taking us out of the excitement that normally keeps fans on the edge of their seats. Still, she’s great. I’ll say it again. Regina King is great, and she’s playing the part well. I’m just a little concerned. It’s in the back of my mind that this an unnecessary stumbling block for the viewers. We’ll see how it plays out. I have immense faith in the writers, directors, and producers. Notice I didn’t mention the actors? Goes without saying that they’re all fantastic.

The CoopTang duo is flagged down by a frantic woman claiming her son has been abducted. Doesn’t take long to learn that she believes her son is none other than Jesus Christ. Coop’s “old guy” response when the woman revealed the identity of her precious child was priceless. He calmly said, “You must be very proud.” Who wouldn’t be, right?

By the way, have you noticed Lucy Liu/Tang’s habit of resting her right hand on her weapon? I told you she’s a natural for this role. But don’t worry, she’s not trigger happy. It’s just that the gun is right there in that perfect location, and cops have a tendency to take advantage of the built-in armrest.

- Sammy and Ben respond to a murder case where the victim is found dead behind the wheel of a car. When they ask  for assistance from bystanders, of course no one offers anything, not a peep. This is how it really is. People just do not want to get involved. Of course, when you get them off to the side away from everyone, then your chances of locating a witness improves quite a bit. It’s the “snitches wind up in ditches” theory that keeps most mouths zipped tightly closed.

“I’m hormonal and I’ve got a gun. Don’t mess with me,” says Lydia Adams.

Ask any male cop who’s ever worked around a female officer just how many times he’s heard that statement, and I’ll bet he couldn’t count the number on his fingers and toes.

- Cooper and Tang stop a car for speeding. The driver instantly starts spouting the same old speech that cops hear day-in and day-out. “Don’t you have more important crimes to investigate?” No, Buddy, there aren’t. You see, cops are busy all over the country working car crashes involving dead pedestrians because the drivers were speeding, texting, eating bowls of cereal, applying makeup, and reading the paper.

And, as usual, we’ve come full circle. Cooper and gang are unwinding at a bar, and everyone is having a great time. But it’s late, especially for one of the “old guys.” So Cooper is the first to leave. Tang follows him outside to tell him that the kid he saved from the suicide attempt had made another attempt and that time achieved his goal. Well, Coop’s already heard the news on the radio, so it wasn’t a shock. He tells Tang that his job was to save people, and that he couldn’t dwell on what they did afterward. That’s great advice for any cop. If they did otherwise they’d probably wind up at the end of a dirt road sucking on the end of their service weapons.

Tang returns to the crew inside the bar leaving Cooper standing outside. He hears Dewey telling a war story, one of his. A notable moment in his 22-year career (8 more and he’ll earn that 6th hash mark/stripe on his sleeve—one for every 5 years served).

The day you hear that first tall tale about some remarkable or crazy thing you’d done during your time on the job is when you know you’ve officially been tagged as “one of the old guys.”

Welcome to the club, John Cooper.

Before we get into this review and recap, I have to say that I’m SO glad Beckett was never my partner. I mean, how many times during her career has she been kidnapped by the bad guys? (Remember the freezer? And how could we forget the old man-eating-tiger-in-the-basement trick involving Beckett and Espo). And, as they say on those annoying infomercials…But wait! This week she was abducted by both good and bad guys, in the same episode.

I’m beginning to think Beckett’s a pretty big liability for the NYPD. The big brass in the department must be aware of her and her troubles. Think about it. She’s the target for an assassin, her apartment was blown to bits, she’s kidnapped at least a couple of times a week, she places a civilian in jeopardy every day (he’s kidnapped even more often than Beckett), all her cases are solved by a civilian mystery writer, someone takes her gun from her two or three times a month, and now, after seeing the preview for next week, she’s going to lose her police car. Would you keep this employee on the payroll? And she wears crazy-tall high heels while tromping around crime scenes. Did you see the shoes she wore to the house of the female murder victim? Holy cow! They looked like stilts.

Anyway…Melanie, please take over before I put a stop to this by leaping out of my office window. Yep, this episode has nearly driven me to that point!

Melanie Atkins

Bodies flying out of windows and disappearing from the morgue. Rogue CIA agents. A major threat to national security. This Castle episode had it all. Too much of it, really. Just… no. To keep my mind off the over the top plot, I focused on another threat and potential blowup. The threat to Kate. This one irked me almost as much, but I hung in there.

The episode begins with Rick learning that Alexis is interning with Lanie in the morgue (holy voodoo forensics, Batman!), and he fears that having his daughter show up at crime scenes will cramp his style and disturb the amazing synergy between him and Kate. That’s not all that disturbs it, but I digress. Rick tries to talk Alexis out of continuing the internship, but to no avail.

Once the body disappears from the morgue (I’ll let Lee concentrate on the case here — such as it is), Kate and Rick search for the suspect, a man whose alias is Gage. Instead of finding him, however, they find another body — the body of the woman they’d thought he was going after. Then they’re kidnapped and taken to an unknown underground location. Way underground.

Lo and behold, they’re in CIA headquarters. A woman strides up to them… or rather, to Rick, and he immediately recognizes her as Sophia Turner, the CIA agent he shadowed for a time while writing the Derrick Storm books. Kate, of course, has read everything he’s ever written, and she pegs the woman as the inspiration for Clara Strike. Meaning… Rick’s had a muse before. Kate’s hackles go up, and she and Sophia square off. Can anyone say green-eyed monster?

Sophia asks for their help, wanting them to continue their hunt for Gage, and Rick jumps to say yes. Kate obviously doesn’t like this, but she has no choice but to go along. Once they’re in the car, however, she confronts Rick, saying, “It’s just that I might’ve been taken aback to find out that you have researched with someone else.”

His answer? “…it was a brief moment, a long time ago” and “Besides, Nikki Heat is a much more complex and nuanced character… and I’m a far more experienced writer. More mature.”

Then she learns he shadowed Sophia for an entire year. That did not sit well.

They don’t have much time to talk about it, because when they go looking for clues to Gage’s whereabouts, they’re grabbed again — this time, by their prey — and he stuffs them into the trunk of a vintage car. The car, of course, doesn’t have a latch inside the trunk. Kate gets them out, however, after learning Rick pressed the panic button the CIA put on his phone before Gage smashed it. Her motivation? “I will not be rescued by your girlfriend.”

His failure to dispute that connotation for Sophia irked me… almost as much as the theory building between Sophia and Rick once he and Kate are picked up by the CIA and whisked back to headquarters does her. I don’t blame her. The very idea that he would interact with another woman like that, after the I love you, gives me hives. I mean, seriously? What the heck are the writers thinking? Kate and Rick should be way past this by now.

That wasn’t the end of the jealousy, though. After the theory building, Rick tells Kate, “We’re all on the same team here” and she says, “No. You’re on her team (meaning Sophia), ’cause the way you look at her, you’re sure as hell not on mine.” Meow!

Again, Rick says nothing… and he even has the gall to stay home the next morning instead of going to the precinct. Aarrgghh! Come on, people. That’s way out of character.

Finally, though, Rick comes up with a new theory, thanks to Martha, and shows up at Kate’s desk eager to tell her about it. She scoffs at him and says, “Shouldn’t you tell Sophia?” Rick answers with, “She’s not my partner. You are.” Well, I guess that’s supposed to placate us. Kate seems to buy into it, but I sure as heck don’t. Can you say lame?

They talk again at the park while looking for yet another man, and Rick offers to answer any question Kate has about Sophia… a great idea, but of course they’re interrupted by the arrival of the person they’re after before she can even ask a question. The man orders them to take him to Pier 32, where he’ll explain about Pandora, a cataclysmic event that will destroy the country as we know it. A scary thought, but one that’s way out there.

He gets out of the car to go inside and someone shoots him… then a car slams into Kate’s Crown Vic, propelling it — and Kate and Rick — into the river. To be continued…

Sigh. I hope the second half of this two part event is more of an event. Ho hum… and enough of the other muses, old girlfriends, etc., okay? Rick’s already said he loves Kate, so get ‘em together already. Too much chase and not enough reward… it’s getting old, people.

Lee Lofland

Okay, I’ve calmed down a bit now. Took a few sips of coffee and hit the play button on a little Beethoven. I’m relaxed. Calm. Shhh….

HEY!!! DID YOU SEE THE GUY FLY OUT THE WINDOW??? He hit the window pane and took all the glass and interior frame with him on the way down. Yet, when Gage the killer looked outside, he was peering through large jagged shards of broken glass.

Good, that’s out of my system. Now for Lanie…

- She says the 1st disappearing victim had several causes of death—shot, stabbed, choked, and had a pencil jabbed into his neck. And later, at the morgue, she lists several old injuries and odd characteristics about the dead guy—lots of old broken bones, scars, other injuries, and that he had the calloused hands associated with martial arts training. What? I’m sorry, are there special callouses for special circumstances? I mean, can someone tell that callouses on the hands of a farmer are the result of setting fence poles by hand? How about the hands of gardener? Could an M.E. tell those callouses were the result of digging in the soil?

What’s so freakin’ special about the callouses on the hands of someone who’s proficient in, say, Aikido? Well, for starters, I’ve been involved in that sort of thing since my teens (five or six years at least) and I’ll tell you, callouses aren’t a big result of the training. This comment, Lanie, was dumb. Yes, I know you were setting the guy up to be what he was, a tough-guy-secret-agent-killer-sort-of-guy, but it was still dumb.

- How could someone get a body out of a morgue without one of the many people who work there seeing it happen? I won’t even bother to go into that ridiculous notion.

- Beckett and Castle go to the home of woman who’s been murdered by the evil and nearly supernatural “Gage.” (This is the scene where Beckett’s wearing the stilts). The two know that this Gage guy is extremely dangerous and has already killed at least two people. So what does she do first? She squats down beside the body conducting an everyday conversation with Castle. Then, after a minute or two, she tells Castle, who’s unarmed, by the way, to stay with the body (no problem with chain of evidence and custody here, huh?) and she starts off on a slow search of the house…for the madman, psycho killer! NO, no, and no! Make sure the scene is safe and clear before engaging in idle chatter. Killers do hide and sneak up on people.

So what happens next? Of freakin’ course Castle has been captured by the bad guy who literally “pulled the wool over his eyes.”

The show was already ridiculous at this point, so you know what would have been really cool here. The hood should have had the word WRITER printed on it just like Castle’s Kevlar vest. Funny? You know it!

Anyway, this is where Castle and Beckett are kidnapped for the first time in this episode, courtesy of the CIA.

- Here comes Lanie with her new sidekick, Alexis. My thoughts on Alexis in the morgue. Here you go…

I do think, though, that Castle plays the role of a pretty good dad, especially as a single father.

- Lanie says the M.E. almost always beats the uniforms to a murder scene. Hmm…who does she think usually calls the M.E.? THE COPS!

I apologize for shouting, but this episode was…no, I’ll just continue.

Enter the CIA, an outfit that’s not set up to work criminal cases (murder, etc.). They may instigate crimes, but as a rule they don’t investigate them. You will probably never see a CIA on the stand testifying in a B&E case. So, they’ve kidnapped Beckett and Castle and now want them to go after that superhuman Gage guy.

Let’s study on this for a moment.

Okay, we’re back. Did that second or two of silence help? Let’s see. The CIA guy methodically says to Castle and Beckett, “This…is…a…national…security…threat.” He’s talking about the unstoppable killing machine, Gage, who’s already taken out the CIA’s top guy. And before I go on I’d like to ask the CIA folks from this show a question. If Gage was such a threat to the USA, enough so that the entire country could go up in smoke, and if the guy is so unbelievably dangerous, then why in the world did you only send one guy to capture him. And not even a healthy guy at that. The guy they put on the trail was a has been—shot up, broken, cut up, and probably brain damaged from all the injuries he’d received over the years. And, obviously, he wasn’t very good at self-defense. That’s what the CIA chose to send after Terminator?

- How about locating the briefcase/cellphone in the trunk of the old car. Beckett keeps her back to the dark garage, again, knowing that Gage was still out there somewhere, while she opens the case. Guess what…yep, kidnapped again. This time she and Castle are locked inside a car trunk.

I’m not even going to mention all the hocus-pocus gadgetry used in the show. And don’t you just love how there’s always, always, always a camera in the exact spot where it’s needed to identify someone, or to locate a piece of evidence.

But Castle is an inspiration. He’s made me realize that for years we’ve been going about crime-solving in all the wrong ways. We should stop assigning cops to investigate murders, rapes, and robberies. Instead, we need to turn over those duties to the various chapters of Mystery Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, Romance Writers of America, and International Thriller Writers.

Now those writer-folks really know how to solve a murder.

Never so alone

Ashamed

Depressed

Anxious.

Strip-searched

Man after man

A number now

Prisoner after prisoner.

One by one

For all to see

Arms outstretched

Humiliation.

Men

Many frightened

Pretending

Showing no fear.

Long, dark, damp concrete hallways

Steel bars and doors

Stale air and emotions

Never a ray of sunlight.

Voices

Thunderous voices

Shrieking, howling, shouting

Everywhere.

Never-ending chatter

Never-ending clatter

Never-ending loneliness

Never-ending despair.

Never alone

But always alone

Sitting

Staring.

Thinking

Dreaming

Hoping

Regretting.

Kneeling

Prayers unanswered

Forgiveness

Doubtful.

Never silent

Deafening

The hollering and shouting

The clanging and banging.

Chains rattling

Doors slamming

Whistles and bells

Endlessly.

Time

Stopped

Days become weeks

Weeks become months.

An eternity

A lifetime of agony

Living inside their minds

An endless nightmare.

At least I could go home

At the end of the day.

Unwind

Take off the uniform

The badge

Thinking

Staring

Nightmares

Of bars and concrete

Of broken lives and hearts

Only to awaken

To begin another day

In their world.

Remember way back in the 70′s when everyone’s grandmother made her signature Jello dish? Yeah, you remember the odd wiggly-jiggly bowl of red stuff with pieces of fruit cocktail living in a state of suspended animation. Then there were those molded lumps of colored “not-quite-liquid” but “softer-than-solid” desserts capped with once-frozen whipped toppings. Then, as quickly as the squirmy dishes hit the home culinary scene, they disappeared, returning to a state of Jello limbo, waiting to once again claim the spots on the menu now occupied by frozen, pre-cooked pies and cakes.

Well, here’s a Jello recipe that’s held its own in my world. Yep, this dish is still ranked pretty high in my hood, and I think you’ll like it too, especially if you’re fond of strawberry cheesecake.

Light ‘Em Up Jello

The evidence (ingredients)

(2) packages of strawberry flavored Jello

(2) cups of water

(1) cup of mini-marshmallows softened in hot water

(1) small can of crushed pineapple

(1) package of cream cheese

(1/2) pt. whipped cream (the squirt kind works and tastes much better than the frozen stuff for this dish. But either will do nicely).

- Okay, now it’s time to bag and tag all the evidence and deliver it to the lab for testing.

The Procedure

Dissolve Jello into (2) cups of hot water (follow instructions on the Jello box. cold water will not work!). Stir in softened marshmallows. Pour into 9×13 dish, or dish size of your choosing. Refrigerate until mixture has just barely begun to set. Remove from refrigerator and stir in pineapple. Use whisk to blend in cream cheese (it takes a bit of patience to get the cream cheese to a fairly creamy texture—you’ll never get out all the small lumps—but it is well worth the effort!). Whisk in the whipped cream. Some people enjoy a small sprinkling of chopped walnuts into the mixture at this point. Personally, I think they’re crazy, but if that’s your thing then more power to you. But I say don’t mess with perfection and step away from the nuts (the people who like them and the walnuts)!

Refrigerate until set firm.

Scoop into preferred portion sizes and top individual servings with a generous squirt of whipped cream.

Enjoy, and I know you will!

*Do you have a recipe that you’d like to share with our readers? If so, please contact me at lofland32@msn.com

*     *     *

Bulletin Board Announcement

NYT Best-seller, Robert Dugoni,

in a Full Day Workshop, March 3

Don’t miss this acclaimed national seminar on fiction writing

Gain a nuts & bolts approach to writing the novel from initial idea to final edit from a master writer and teacher. Bob focuses on:

• Story structure and development, including outlining
• Maintaining and increasing suspense
• Creating memorable characters, including dialogue techniques
• Self-Editing methods
• Pitfalls to avoid that result in rejection or reader disappointment
• Support to remove any obstacles in the path to publication
• The writer’s life, including overcoming writer s block
• Lecture, in-class writing, examples of Bob’s & other best-sellers

Who: All writers who want to improve their writing and storytelling – from beginning to published novelists and memoirists

When: Saturday, March 3, 9 am to 4 pm (book signing 4:15)

Where: RCC/SOU Higher Education Center,  Room 112R, 101 S Bartlett, Medford, OR (8^th & Bartlett)

How:$70 ($60 for WW members, $35-students) Register now at soww77@gmail.com

Robert Dugoni is the author of Murder one , voted one of the best thrillers of 2011 by The Library Journal, and more novels in the critically acclaimed David Sloane series, as well as thrillers including Bodily Harm and The NYT bestseller, The Jury Master. The Providence Journal called him “the undisputed king of the legal thriller.” He lives in the NW & teaches the craft of writing throughout the US, Canada and Mexico. www.robertdugoni.com