Domestic Violence: No One Deserves It

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Domestic violence isn’t limited to physical abuse.

It comes in many forms, such as threats, stalking and intimidation, name calling, threatening the children or pets, threatening suicide to get you to do something, preventing you from getting a job or even going out of the house, withholding money, and preventing you from contacting family and friends.

Unwanted sexual activity is also a form of domestic violence.

Many times, the abuser uses domestic violence to maintain control and power over his wife or girlfriend (most victims are women). Some of the means/abuse used to control a spouse are:

1) Emotional abuse—make her feel as if she’s crazy, or unworthy.

2) Controlling what she does, who she sees, where she goes, and even what she reads.

3) Make her believe the abuse is her fault.

4) Using the children—threatens to take them away or make them feel guilty about them.

5) Uses money—won’t allow her to work, makes her ask for money, and takes her money.

6) Treats her like a servant—doesn’t allow her to make decisions.

7) Physical violence—hitting, slapping, biting, choking, kicking, threatening her with a weapon, (or using a weapon against her).


Please don’t wait. 


Domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233


Please don’t wait.


Domestic abuse hotline: 1-800-799-7233


9 thoughts on “Domestic Violence: No One Deserves It

  • Michele Drier

    Thank you, Lee. I spent about 20 years managing organizations that worked with survivors of domestic and sexual assault and this information can’t be repeated often enough.

  • Kathy Crouch

    Those are scary situations. Thanks for sharing it’s more than hitting.

  • Tony Fennelly

    You left out destroying the woman’s property: clothes, computer, phone, etc. So she has to work overtime for months to replace them.
    Banging on the door in the middle of the night demanding to “See my child.”
    The woman is afraid he will wake the neighbors and get her evicted because of all the noise so she lets him in.
    He takes a cursory glance at the crib then demands to be fed. The only food she has in the apartment is for the children’s breakfast but, again, he shouts so loud that she is afraid of waking the neighbors so she fixes him a big meal with the food that was bought for the children. They go to school hungry.

  • Lee Lofland

    Tony, the list is endless and horrifying, and what you’ve mentioned is absolutely heartbreaking.

  • Susan Oleksiw

    I worked in administration of a social services agency and sometimes the client stories were so horrific and unsettling that the case worker came into my office to tell me, just to be able to tell someone. I sometimes wonder how humans have survived this long.

  • Coco

    That is so well explained as many people feel domestic abuse is physical and do not take into account all the other forms. We as FL. RNS must take Domestic Abuse as one of our CE courses every 2 years, that is how important it is and prevalent. Thank you for this Post.

  • Chris Roerden

    Lee, thanks for the reminders. Many of us activists were fighting the judicial system since the early 70s to recognize the difference in sentencing between serial batterers and the truly occasional remorseful batterer. If anyone is really interested in learning about the 6 types of men who batter women, I ghostwrote _He Promised He’d Stop_, based on experience in courtrooms and elsewhere by the award-winning senior probation officer Michael Groetsch. Low-cost used copies available on Amazon, and still as relevant today as when published in 1997. A large section is included of advice to help women find safe passage from abusive relationships. Working on this book gave me my first inkling of the Narcissistic type, who turns up in many unexpected places, such as the White House.

  • Joy Smith

    Wow, I didn’t realize the catagory was so broad–and what I thought was emotional abuse was really domestic violence. Violence is such a strong word!.

  • Lee Lofland

    To be fair, Chris, narcissists also work at banks, libraries, hospitals, police departments, law offices, grocery stores, drug stores, publishing houses, and, well, they’re everywhere. In fact, some are writers, agents, and editors. The list is practically endless and can’t be pigeon-holed to one location or person.

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