Age Prediction: How Body Fluids Spill the Beans

Age Prediction based on bodily fluids

Name: “Lucky” Louie

Race: Nascar

Sex: Sometimes

Age: I’ll never tell

What to do when a suspect refuses to provide his true personal information? Well, for starters, he could held without bond until he cracks. This method works well, especially when the suspect is placed in a cold, damp cell with a very large and lonely and “hot-natured” cellmate. After a day or two or three of sleeping with one eye open and a hand over each of the most vital areas of the body, Inmate Anonymous usually “sees the light” and tells officials what they need to know.

But what about methods of learning the ages of unknown suspects of crimes—the crooks whose prints and DNA are not yet in the system. Wait, why is the age of an unknown suspect a “need-to-know detail?” For starters, it narrows the suspect pool by thousands. If cops know the suspect is a male between the ages of 20 and 24, there’s no need to consider older men or teens. Women can also be excluded from the pool of suspects. This is a HUGE time-saver.

Unfortunately, when all investigators have to go on is a drop of blood or saliva and no other clues, well, they have nothing. Unless, as previously mentioned, the bad guy’s DNA or fingerprints are on file.

However, scientists at King’s College London have discovered a unique method of predicting age based on samples of blood and/or saliva. Using artificial intelligence (machine learning), this group of researchers found that by analyzing a specific set of biomarkers in blood samples, they were able to accurately predict the age of sample donors to within four years on average. Needless to say, this is a huge breakthrough for law enforcement investigators.

Who knows, the next big thing could be that carpeting, drapes, and linens are equipped to instantly record and analyze all types of fluids the instant they contact the material. Then, using the Internet of Things, your warm and snuggly comforter, the one with all the pretty pink roses, will immediately phone the police while simultaneously forwarding a copy of the DNA/Body Fluid Report to the cops and the prosecutor.

Therefore, hanging out with Dead Red Fred (below) might not be in your best interest.

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By the way, for the first time anywhere, the 2017 Writers’ Police Academy is offering an absolutely incredible bloodstain pattern workshop. This unique and extremely exciting hands-on session is taught by RJ Beam, a leading expert of bloodstain pattern investigations, and he’s the author of the blog, Premeditated Fiction. Here’s a brief preview of what you’ll see in this typically “For Law Enforcement Eyes Only” session. Joining the mysterious Mr. Beam in both the video and at the WPA, is Spatter Head, the real star of the show.