The Language Of Police: Cop Slang

Everyone has their own pet names for various items, and many people have used cute little nicknames for their favorite or not so favorite people. But when it comes to cops and their slang, well, it’s a language all it’s own. For example…

A little while – response offered to bad guys when they ask what they’re going to jail for… “A little while.”

Aluminum Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Angry Betty – usually a high and crazy, mad, arms-flailing female crackhead

Back To The Barn – heading back to the police station

Badge Bunny – woman obsessed with cops (I mean really obsessed…well, you get the idea). Cop groupies.

Basket Weave – design that’s stamped into a leather gun belt

Break Leather – drawing a firearm/weapon from its holster

California Roll – when a driver almost, but not quite, stops at a stop sign (they slowly roll past the sign through the intersection, never coming to a complete stop)

Canoe Maker – a medical examiner (during autopsy, an M.E. “scoops” out the insides leaving behind a human “canoe”)

Code Brown – got to get to the bathroom, and fast!

Connect The Dots – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Cue Ball – a bad guy, especially a gang member, with a shaved head

Deuce – driving under the influence

Doing The Funky Chicken – a “Tasered”suspect’s flailing and erratic movements

Driving Miss Daisy – having an older, supervisory officer riding along on patrol

Duracell Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Fish Eye – a person is said to “fish eye” when he knows an officer is watching him, so he pretends not to notice. However, he’s quite obviously watching the officer out of the extreme corner of his eye while trying to keep his head aimed straight ahead

Flashlight Therapy – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Foot Bail – to run from the police

Frequent Flyer – the person you arrest over and over and over again. Think Otis Campbell of Mayberry.

Grunt – patrol officer

Gump – Cross-dressing male prostitute.  “Gender Unknown Male Prostitute”

Hang Paper – issue a traffic citation (ticket)

Happy Feet – suspect is a runner, or is about to flee

John Wayne – excessive use of force (He went all “John Wayne” on that guy.”)

Lead Poisoning – multiple gunshot wounds (Look at all the bullet holes. He must’ve died of lead poisoning)

Light ‘Em Up – initiate a traffic stop by turning on blue lights. Also used as an unofficial command to begin firing at a suspect(s)

Maglite Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Minnow Mounties – Fish and Game officers. Also known as Moose Marshals

Mutt – criminal. AKA – suspect, slimebag, scrote, and a**hole

On The Beach – suspended from duty

One-Oh-One X-ray – a male dressed as a female

Opossum Cop (‘Possum Cop) – Texas game warden

Organ Donor – a person riding a motorcycle without wearing a helmet

Out Of The Bag – an officer out of uniform, or a plainclothes officer/detective

Overheads – lights on top of a police car. AKA – lightbar

Paper Hanger – person who writes fraudulent checks

Pickle Park – highway rest area frequented by men attempting to “hook up” with other men

Polyester Pig Pile – When several officers “pile on” an extremely combative suspect to effect an arrest

Pumpkin Patch – Holding cell (bull pen) housing new prisoners dressed in orange jumpsuits

Q-Tips – elderly, white-haired folks traveling the highway, usually to and from Florida. From a distance they have the appearance of Q-tips lined up in a box

Rabbit – run from the police

Scooby Snack – a suspect who’s bitten by a police k-9

Screen Test – slamming on the brakes so the unruly, spitting suspect in the rear seat slides forward, hitting their head/face on the screen/divider between the front and rear compartments

Sergeant In The Trunk – GPS tracking system on patrol cars (an officer’s whereabouts is known at all times)

Swivel Head – the head-turning reaction exhibited by bad guys when they see a passing police car

Three-Striper – sergeant

Two Beers – the almost-always-used answer by drunk drivers when asked how much they’ve had to drink

Walkin’ the Dog – taking a break

Walnut Shampoo – yep, you guessed it, using a wooden baton to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Whale – black and white police car with no lightbar

Yardbird – a suspect who springs from the bushes and takes off running

Zebra – a sergeant who’s not well-liked. An “ass” with stripes

Read more
The Language Of Police: Cop Slang

Everyone has their own pet names for various items, and many people have used cute little nicknames for their favorite or not so favorite people. But when it comes to cops and their slang, well, it’s a language all it’s own. For example…

A little while – response offered to bad guys when they ask what they’re going to jail for… “A little while.”

Aluminum Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Angry Betty – usually a high and crazy, mad, arms-flailing female crackhead

Back To The Barn – heading back to the police station

Badge Bunny – woman obsessed with cops (I mean really obsessed…well, you get the idea). Cop groupies.

Basket Weave – design that’s stamped into a leather gun belt

Break Leather – drawing a firearm/weapon from its holster

California Roll – when a driver almost, but not quite, stops at a stop sign (they slowly roll past the sign through the intersection, never coming to a complete stop)

Canoe Maker – a medical examiner (during autopsy, an M.E. “scoops” out the insides leaving behind a human “canoe”)

Code Brown – got to get to the bathroom, and fast!

Connect The Dots – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Cue Ball – a bad guy, especially a gang member, with a shaved head

Deuce – driving under the influence

Doing The Funky Chicken – a “Tasered”suspect’s flailing and erratic movements

Driving Miss Daisy – having an older, supervisory officer riding along on patrol

Duracell Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Fish Eye – a person is said to “fish eye” when he knows an officer is watching him, so he pretends not to notice. However, he’s quite obviously watching the officer out of the extreme corner of his eye while trying to keep his head aimed straight ahead

Flashlight Therapy – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Foot Bail – to run from the police

Frequent Flyer – the person you arrest over and over and over again. Think Otis Campbell of Mayberry.

Grunt – patrol officer

Gump – Cross-dressing male prostitute.  “Gender Unknown Male Prostitute”

Hang Paper – issue a traffic citation (ticket)

Happy Feet – suspect is a runner, or is about to flee

John Wayne – excessive use of force (He went all “John Wayne” on that guy.”)

Lead Poisoning – multiple gunshot wounds (Look at all the bullet holes. He must’ve died of lead poisoning)

Light ‘Em Up – initiate a traffic stop by turning on blue lights. Also used as an unofficial command to begin firing at a suspect(s)

Maglite Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Minnow Mounties – Fish and Game officers. Also known as Moose Marshals

Mutt – criminal. AKA – suspect, slimebag, scrote, and a**hole

On The Beach – suspended from duty

One-Oh-One X-ray – a male dressed as a female

Opossum Cop (‘Possum Cop) – Texas game warden

Organ Donor – a person riding a motorcycle without wearing a helmet

Out Of The Bag – an officer out of uniform, or a plainclothes officer/detective

Overheads – lights on top of a police car. AKA – lightbar

Paper Hanger – person who writes fraudulent checks

Pickle Park – highway rest area frequented by men attempting to “hook up” with other men

Polyester Pig Pile – When several officers “pile on” an extremely combative suspect to effect an arrest

Pumpkin Patch – Holding cell (bull pen) housing new prisoners dressed in orange jumpsuits

Q-Tips – elderly, white-haired folks traveling the highway, usually to and from Florida. From a distance they have the appearance of Q-tips lined up in a box

Rabbit – run from the police

Scooby Snack – a suspect who’s bitten by a police k-9

Screen Test – slamming on the brakes so the unruly, spitting suspect in the rear seat slides forward, hitting their head/face on the screen/divider between the front and rear compartments

Sergeant In The Trunk – GPS tracking system on patrol cars (an officer’s whereabouts is known at all times)

Swivel Head – the head-turning reaction exhibited by bad guys when they see a passing police car

Three-Striper – sergeant

Two Beers – the almost-always-used answer by drunk drivers when asked how much they’ve had to drink

Walkin’ the Dog – taking a break

Walnut Shampoo – yep, you guessed it, using a wooden baton to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Whale – black and white police car with no lightbar

Yardbird – a suspect who springs from the bushes and takes off running

Zebra – a sergeant who’s not well-liked. An “ass” with stripes

Read more
The Language Of Police: Cop Slang

Everyone has their own pet names for various items, and many people have used cute little nicknames for their favorite or not so favorite people. But when it comes to cops and their slang, well, it’s a language all it’s own. For example…

A little while – response offered to bad guys when they ask what they’re going to jail for… “A little while.”

Aluminum Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Angry Betty – usually a high and crazy, mad, arms-flailing female crackhead

Back To The Barn – heading back to the police station

Badge Bunny – woman obsessed with cops (I mean really obsessed…well, you get the idea). Cop groupies.

Basket Weave – design that’s stamped into a leather gun belt

Break Leather – drawing a firearm/weapon from its holster

California Roll – when a driver almost, but not quite, stops at a stop sign (they slowly roll past the sign through the intersection, never coming to a complete stop)

Canoe Maker – a medical examiner (during autopsy, an M.E. “scoops” out the insides leaving behind a human “canoe”)

Code Brown – got to get to the bathroom, and fast!

Connect The Dots – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Cue Ball – a bad guy, especially a gang member, with a shaved head

Deuce – driving under the influence

Doing The Funky Chicken – a “Tasered”suspect’s flailing and erratic movements

Driving Miss Daisy – having an older, supervisory officer riding along on patrol

Duracell Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Fish Eye – a person is said to “fish eye” when he knows an officer is watching him, so he pretends not to notice. However, he’s quite obviously watching the officer out of the extreme corner of his eye while trying to keep his head aimed straight ahead

Flashlight Therapy – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Foot Bail – to run from the police

Frequent Flyer – the person you arrest over and over and over again. Think Otis Campbell of Mayberry.

Grunt – patrol officer

Gump – Cross-dressing male prostitute.  “Gender Unknown Male Prostitute”

Hang Paper – issue a traffic citation (ticket)

Happy Feet – suspect is a runner, or is about to flee

John Wayne – excessive use of force (He went all “John Wayne” on that guy.”)

Lead Poisoning – multiple gunshot wounds (Look at all the bullet holes. He must’ve died of lead poisoning)

Light ‘Em Up – initiate a traffic stop by turning on blue lights. Also used as an unofficial command to begin firing at a suspect(s)

Maglite Shampoo – using a metal flashlight to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Minnow Mounties – Fish and Game officers. Also known as Moose Marshals

Mutt – criminal. AKA – suspect, slimebag, scrote, and a**hole

On The Beach – suspended from duty

One-Oh-One X-ray – a male dressed as a female

Opossum Cop (‘Possum Cop) – Texas game warden

Organ Donor – a person riding a motorcycle without wearing a helmet

Out Of The Bag – an officer out of uniform, or a plainclothes officer/detective

Overheads – lights on top of a police car. AKA – lightbar

Paper Hanger – person who writes fraudulent checks

Pickle Park – highway rest area frequented by men attempting to “hook up” with other men

Polyester Pig Pile – When several officers “pile on” an extremely combative suspect to effect an arrest

Pumpkin Patch – Holding cell (bull pen) housing new prisoners dressed in orange jumpsuits

Q-Tips – elderly, white-haired folks traveling the highway, usually to and from Florida. From a distance they have the appearance of Q-tips lined up in a box

Rabbit – run from the police

Scooby Snack – a suspect who’s bitten by a police k-9

Screen Test – slamming on the brakes so the unruly, spitting suspect in the rear seat slides forward, hitting their head/face on the screen/divider between the front and rear compartments

Sergeant In The Trunk – GPS tracking system on patrol cars (an officer’s whereabouts is known at all times)

Swivel Head – the head-turning reaction exhibited by bad guys when they see a passing police car

Three-Striper – sergeant

Two Beers – the almost-always-used answer by drunk drivers when asked how much they’ve had to drink

Walkin’ the Dog – taking a break

Walnut Shampoo – yep, you guessed it, using a wooden baton to deliver a polite “love tap” to a combative suspect’s head

Whale – black and white police car with no lightbar

Yardbird – a suspect who springs from the bushes and takes off running

Zebra – a sergeant who’s not well-liked. An “ass” with stripes

Read more
More Cop, Crook, and Street Slang

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The world of cops and robbers is an entity all its own. It’s a culture that lives and breathes in every neighborhood of every city. And, within each individual subgroup comes a separate set of traditions, rules, regulations, and even their own language(s). The same is true within the various groups of criminals. They, too, have their languages, mannerisms, etc.

To survive in these various social orders, members and visitors and newcomers must walk the walk and talk the talk that’s associated with each group. For example, to you the word cop might conjure up images of a burly police officer. However, to many criminals cop means to take plea agreement offered by the DA. “I’m not going to take a chance with a jury trial. I’m going to cop a plea.”

Let’s take a peek at a few more of the slang terms used by cops and robbers.

  • Sagging/Jailing (jailin”) – Wearing pants with the waistband so low that the underwear/boxer shorts are exposed. This style actually began in prisons and jails because inmates are often issued ill-fitting clothing. Their jail-issued pants are sometimes much too big which causes them to ride low on the hips.

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Some say inmates who wear their pants “low” (saggers) are advertising that they’re available for sex.

  • Chicken head someone who gives oral sex in exchange for drugs.

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  • Hose Dragger – firefighter
  • Junior G-Man – a new officer/agent/special agent, etc. The new kid in the station/department/agency.
  • Alpha-Hotel – when you want to say A**Hole but don’t want anyone hearing you say A**Hole. “Man, that guy was a real Alpha-Hotel.”
  • Shorty – a nickname for girls/women. “Shorty sure looked fine last night.”
  • Honey Stop – stopping a car because the officer thinks the driver is good looking/wants to meet them. “I can’t believe she married that loser. Met him during a honey stop is what I heard.”

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“Hey, Shorty, you’re sure lookin’ good tonight. And girl, those curls and that hat, well, they’re da’ bomb!”

  • Bullet – a one year prison sentence.
  • Ink – tattoo(s)
  • Pruno – alcohol made in jail or prison by inmates. Also known as hooch.
  • Five-O – the police. AKA: Po-Po, Barney, Bacon, Bear, the Law, Pig.

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  • Lot Lizard – prostitute who works the parking lots at truck stops.
  • Detentionitis – mysterious and sudden ailments that strike people the moment they realize they’re to be arrested. “Oh, Lawdy, I can’t go to jail. I’m having a heart-a-stroke-appendicitigangrenified-triple-powered-seizure.”
  •  Catch a Ride – share someone’s drugs. “Hey, Dude. Can I catch a ride?”

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  • Maggot – criminal (AKA – dirtbag, scum, mope, a**hole). “Store owner says a couple of maggots walked in the front door. He knew something was up because the first guy in was sweating a lot and constantly looking outside. Next thing he knows is they each pull out a pistol and start screaming for him to hand over the money.”
  • Maggot Mobile – car belonging to a maggot. See above definition of maggot. “That sounds like Little Pauly’s car. Drive by his place and see if that piece-of-crap maggot mobile is in the driveway. If so, bring him in.”
  • Lampin’ – hanging out under a street light. Those who do consider that spot as their turf.
  • Duck Detective – Fish and Game/Wildlife officer. “Be sure you have your hunting license with you. Joe-Billy, Jr. said the duck detectives are out in full force today.”
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Cop-ronyms: Say…WHAT?

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I know, talking shop with cops can be confusing. So here’s a handy Cop-To-English guide for writers.

  • AKA – Also Known As
  • APB -All Points Bulletin. STOP using this one. It went out with the T-Rex, sometime around the time when Betty White was born.
  • ATL – Attempt to Locate. “ATL for Betty White’s birth certificate was negative. No paper back then.”
  • B&E – Break and Enter
  • BOLO – Be On The Lookout – Replaced APB the day Betty White first walked among the dinosuars.
  • Civies – Non-uniform clothing, such as jeans and t-shirt, a coat and tie and, well, anything other than a police uniform.
  • CHP – California Highway Patrol (No, they aren’t called CHIPS. You watch too much classic TV. The locals say C.H.P., as in, “Did you notify C.H.P.?”).
  • DB – Dead Body
  • DL – Drivers License
  • DOA – Dead on Arrival (Not to be confused with the idea of a season 9 of Castle).
  • DOB – Date of Birth. “What’s Betty White’s DOB? Give me a hint. Are the numbers followed by BC or AD?”
  • DOC – Department of Corrections
  • DOJ – Department of Justice
  • DV – Domestic Violence
  • DIP – Drunk in Public. “I aressted Betty White for DIP. Yeah, Mary Tyler Moore called it in. Said she was swinging from the chandelier.”
  • EC – Emergency Contact. “Yes, the boat is sinking and the animals are bailing out. Who’s the EC, Betty White, or Noah?
  • FTA – Failure to Appear (in court)
  • FTO – Field Training Officer
  • GSW – Gunshot Wound (for more on gunshot wounds go here).
  • HBO – Handled by Officer (There is no reference to Showtime, sorry).
  • HP – Highway Patrol
  • KA – Known Associate
  • MDT – Mobile Date Terminal – In-car computer
  • MUTT – A shady bad guy. “Did you see the mutt hanging out behind the Pebbly Wiggly? I’ll bet he’s going to hit it tonight. Let’s go have a chat with him.”
  • Narc – Officer working a narcotics assignment. “Looks like heroin. Call the narcs and see if they want to talk to this guy.”
  • NCIC – National Crime Information Center. “I think he stole the boat. Run it through NCIC and let’s see what comes back.”
  • NOK – Next of Kin. “Who’s…never mind. Betty White has no living relatives.”
  • OL – Operators License (AKA = Drivers License)
  • PC – Probable Cause

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  • PD – Police Department
  • POV – Privately Owned Vehicle. “Yes, I checked. The brontosaurus actually IS Betty White’s POV.”
  • Social – Social Security Number. Yep, hers is…1.
  • Station – Police Department
  • Unauthorized Use – Using/driving/borrowing a vehicle without permission. A charge that’s typically associated with someone who took a vehicle but knows the owner and would most likely bring it back. The probability of bringing it back is what separates this violation from it’s cousin…THEFT.

In Virginia, unauthorized use also extends to aircraft, boats, and even animals. Therefore, if you plan travel to Richmond for the purpose of borrowing someone’s $300 chicken, well, you should consider doing your poultry-borrowing in a different state. The Richmond city jail is no joke.

§ 18.2-102Unauthorized use of animal, aircraft, vehicle or boat; consent; accessories or accomplices.

Any person who shall take, drive or use any animal, aircraft, vehicle, boat or vessel, not his own, without the consent of the owner thereof and in the absence of the owner, and with intent temporarily to deprive the owner thereof of his possession thereof, without intent to steal the same, shall be guilty of a Class 6 felony; provided, however, that if the value of such animal, aircraft, vehicle, boat or vessel shall be less than $200, such person shall be guilty of a Class 1 misdemeanor. The consent of the owner of an animal, aircraft, vehicle, boat or vessel to its taking, driving or using shall not in any case be presumed or implied because of such owner’s consent on a previous occasion to the taking, driving or using of such animal, aircraft, vehicle, boat or vessel by the same or a different person. Any person who assists in, or is a party or accessory to, or an accomplice in, any such unauthorized taking, driving or using shall be subject to the same punishment as if he were the principal offender.
  • UNSUB – Unidentified Subject/Suspect
  • UTL – Unable to Locate
  • VIN – Vehicle Identification Number. VIN’s are located in a few places throughout a vehicle. The one most obvious is on the driver’s side where the windshield meets the dashboard, in front of the steering wheel. Other locations may include the front of the engine block (you should be able to see the plate by opening the hood and having a peek among all the goodies packed in there), front of the car frame, and inside the driver’s door jamb.
  • WMI – World-Make Identifier – The first three characters of a VIN number that tell us the where the vehicle was assembled, manufacturer, and make (Ford, Chevrolet, etc.). The characters that follow provide more details about the vehicle such as engine size, safety features, and more.

To help you better understand VIN numbers, here’s a brief video.

*Remember, as always, terms, slang, procedure, etc. may vary from one location to another. And, the above could have different meanings in other lines of work, other agencies, etc. These, however, are related to law enforcement. Still, no matter where you go, Betty White is a hoot…

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Castle: Reckoning – A Good Cop/Bad Cop Review

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“It’s not just the murder he likes, it’s the game.” ~ Castle

New Picture (10)

Melanie Atkins

I enjoyed this week’s episode, the second of two parts, much better than I did last week’s show. Kate was kidnapped at the end of that one after going off alone to chase a lead, something we all agreed was dumb and a bit ho-hum… and now Rick has to find her. Of course, he’s not a cop, and he gets into trouble right away when he goes rogue to find his wife. I’m sure Lee will have a lot to say about this, but frankly, I bought it hook, line, and sinker.

Rick’s love for Kate is apparent from the get-go, when he first loses his temper with Mike Boudreaux/Jerry Tyson, and Ryan has to contain him. The boys won’t let him violate the jerk’s civil rights (too bad), but later Rick returns packing heat and gets himself arrested for assault. Not smart, Rick. Not smart, but inevitable when he’s fighting to find the woman he loves. We saw him go off the rails and take the law into his own hands when Alexis was kidnapped and whisked off to France in season five, so we shouldn’t be surprised by this. Rick’s dark side comes out when the people he loves, and himself by proxy, are in danger. Lone wolf Rick scares me. Nathan did a fabulous job in this one. Wow. I wouldn’t want to get on his bad side.

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The episode took us on a roller coaster of emotion, from fake Kate—most of us had probably already decided the woman in the chair wasn’t her after seeing last week’s promo—to Rick going off on his own to catch Tyson. I thought he’d taken a page from Kate’s book and taken off by himself to find her, but the writers turned the tables on me this time and had him working with Ryan and Esposito all along. Yay for Espo’s military training. He took out 3XK with one shot.

I cheered again—and gasped—when Kate finally unraveled the string holding one of her restraints in place and grabbed Neiman’s wrist. Wow. What a powerful moment. Kate doesn’t need a knight in shining armor to rescue her. No, she took care of Neiman all on her own, with Neiman’s own scalpel, no less. The chilling moment when Rick found Kate partially covered in Neiman’s blood made my heart pound. Their relieved hug told me everything would be okay.

The last scene, of course, was my favorite. I like that Kate was mostly silent and seemed haunted by what she had done. Who wouldn’t be after killing someone and feeling their warm blood coat your hand? Shiver. Great job, Stana. Both she and Nathan outdid themselves in this one. I give it a big thumbs up, although I do wonder if they ever let Amy out of the trunk of Rick’s Buick. <g>

Next week’s episode, The Wrong Stuff, looks to be much lighter, and I’m glad. After this wild ride, we all need a chance to breathe. Boy, do I love this show.

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Lee Lofland

Well, Melanie’s and my thoughts on this episode couldn’t be any further apart. I thought the entire story was predictable, cliche’, and a bit boring. And, the method the writers used to take us from A – Z was downright lazy. I’m mean, come on, to use the flashback thing where we see Castle’s ENTIRE conversation during the briefing was not him thinking out loud, but Castle, Ryan, and Esposito plotting how to catch this never-ending 3XK character.

Fillion did a great job of playing his part, though. His emotions seemed quite realistic and he nicely pulled off playing a solemn role this week. Typically he’s at his best when humor is involved, so it was a nice touch to see him wear his serious face.

The rest of the show, for me, was far too much super-villainish nonsense.

Anyway, there wasn’t a lot of police procedure to pick apart this week, and what was there was, well, it’s fairly safe to assume, writers, that you should not use this particular episode as a research guide for your next bestseller. Unless, that is, you’re going for a total BS/fantasy plot.

A couple of points.

– Castle writers really need to be more consistent. One week we hear Beckett properly use the term/acronym BOLO (Be On The Lookout), and the next, she or one of her crew uses APB (All Points Bulletin). Typically, APB hasn’t been used since cops were well-respected in this country. And that, my friends, was a looooong time ago. Writers, it’s BOLO!

– Super-Tech Analyst Tory was able to dissect the audio recording of Beckett screaming for help, and then locate and piece together together clips from other audio files to determine the found recording was a product of 3XK, not Beckett begging for help. And, she did it all in a matter of minutes. She. Is. Amazing. In her spare time, Super Tory needs to solve the issues of world peace, curing cancer, terrorism, poverty, and the California drought. I’m sure she could do all that and still have time to rescue a cat from a tree before heading home for the day. And she does all of this without ever sitting down! Do I really need to point out that this stuff is total fiction?

– Castle visits Tyson’s former cellmate to ask for information about 3XK. The prisoner used the term “cellie” when referring to the person with whom he once shared a cell. Cellie is indeed actual lingo/slang used by prison inmates.

– The standing ovation Beckett received when returning to the precinct was silly. After all, I’d think that by now seeing Beckett return after being kidnapped would be just another day at the office. Same old, same old. Just like Castle losing his gun to Tyson this week. Who didn’t see that coming?

– Castle’s a mega-rich author who once drove high-end sports cars, but now drives a Buick, the brand faithfully driven by my grandfather?? Gee, I wonder who’s sponsoring the show? I haven’t pulled out the stopwatch, but I’m sure Espo and Ryan receive less camera time than the Buick logo.

Finally, I certainly hope Castle remembers to feed the woman who’s now living in the trunk of his car.

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